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Michael Jackson Justice: What He Has Done To Me - Feb. 20th, 2009

God: Reconnect to Him

The Conspiracy against God is about "The Word", and the profaning of His Holy Name within us. Adam fell in the garden, breaking the direct connection to God. Jesus, the "last Adam" was a quickening Spirit, the Word made Flesh, and the only one with whom we can re-establish our relationship with God. Michael's story is still unfolding. He is the one who is, is not. But Jesus is the only name given under heaven by which we must be saved. Many are trying to rewrite HIStory. We were given a help to instruct us. Learn more "here".

Monday, February 22, 2010

What He Has Done To Me - Feb. 20th, 2009

What Has He Done to Me? – February 20, 2010

Yesterday was not a nice day for me. It started off just fine, I enjoyed myself at work with the boss’s wife and I singing to Michael Jackson songs while we worked on updating and integrating the databases. I work for the Shepherd’s Guide in advertising sales. Never did I dream I would ever be singing Michael Jackson songs with the owner of the company’s wife in a Christian based business.

Well all that Michael-ing at work must have been too much for me. I didn’t know how tightly wound I was until I came home, opened my email to see a link a friend sent me . . . Pictures of Michael and of his funeral program. I read each page my friend had scanned. I began crying but I finished reading each one.

When I finished I was hit emotionally with what each of these people lost . . . those that wrote their own Eulogies for Michael in this program . . . Latoya, the Cascios, Jackie, Rebbie. I cried so hard that my face grew hot and my sinuses completely closed up. I couldn’t stop.

I opened my own pictures I had saved and pulled up the latest photo I have of Michael and just looked at it. His face was looking straight into the camera, the eyes right at me. He was visible from the shoulders up, hair pulled back and wavy and mouth open in mid-song. This was a still shot from his “This is It” rehearsals. His eyelids looked heavy and were partially closed. He looked tired . . . no, he looked exhausted. He was not having a good time in this photo even though he was singing. Dressed in several shirts with open collars, you could see how thin he was; how pale and sallow he appeared. Several strands of hair hung over one eye as if to try to cover the worst of the pain and disappointment in his eyes.

I put my head down into my hands and sobbed. My shoulders shook with the strength of this as I tried to keep silent to avoid my husband overhearing me lose it. Good earth it’s been seven months and I still cannot move on. I looked up at the Michael on my computer screen. His face was swimming in front of me. I put my hand out and touched the computer screen . . . it was warm. I said to the computer screen “Michael, I am so sorry for everything you suffered down here. I hope you are okay now, wherever you are . . .” And then I couldn’t say anymore.

Just as I would think I was coming to the end of this emotional cleansing, the anguish seemed to renew and fresh, hot tears would pour over my cheeks. Huddled over my desk with sobs wracking my shoulders, a couple of small, audible sounds managed to escape. Nobody heard them but me. I was alone in my office in the basement.

The crying came in waves. I went to Karen Faye’s facebook page and tried to write to a couple of friends there what was happening. I know I’m not the only one that goes through this, but I will usually post it in hopes that whoever else is going through it will see my post and not be alone. And I just wanted to share this here, in case anyone else out there is experiencing this and needs to know that THEY are not alone either.

I am posting two updates at once on here because of the delay in getting the first one up.

Next update will start with the last person to see Michael alive . . . Dr. Conrad Murray and his background.

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