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Michael Jackson Justice: Michael’s Perfect Soul Mate

God: Reconnect to Him

Adam fell in the garden, breaking the direct connection to God. Jesus, the "last Adam" was a quickening Spirit, the Word made Flesh, and the only one with whom we can re-establish our relationship with God. Michael's story is still unfolding. He is the one who is, is not. But Jesus is the only name given under heaven by which we must be saved. Many are trying to rewrite HIStory. We were given a help to instruct us. Learn more "here".

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Michael’s Perfect Soul Mate



July 19, 2010 – Michael’s Perfect Soul Mate

Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Song of Solomon 2: 4-7“THE Shulamite to the Daughters of Jerusalem He brought me to the banqueting house, And his banner over me was love. Sustain me with cakes of raisins, Refresh me with apples, For I am lovesick. His left hand is under my head, And his right hand embraces me. I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the does of the field, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases.”

Someone asked me a week ago, if I thought Lisa Marie Presley or Debbie Rowe were really in love with Michael Jackson. It was a funny question to me. Of all the rumor circulating about his preferences, his habits, his choice of company, this is probably one of the least investigated. From what I have read, people just assumed that Michael did not have a conventional marriage with either of the two ladies that were his wives.

Michael loved everyone. He was one of the few people walking the earth that could genuinely express that without reservation, no matter who you were, color, religion or ethnic background. I had read that he had a little harder time with the one-on-one relationship then he did with an audience-filled arena, but I understood that after learning what he had to deal with. Michael on some levels, had to protect himself to the extreme. However, when it came to his feelings, most would agree that he wore those on every sleeve.



If we go back to Michael’s explanation of love, and his search for it:

During the interviews with Rabbi Schmuley, Rabbi asks, “The fans love you because you can sing and because you can dance, or do you feel unconditional love from your fans?”

Michael responds:

"That's hard, 'cause I'm not in their skin. Umm, I think after discovering who I am and how I see them and make them feel good about themselves, they love me unconditionally. I love [my fans] to pieces and what makes my heart happy is when I see they support my beliefs about family and children. They have these big billboards of children and babies and they're with me, they get it, you know? They get what I'm saying.”

"Let us dream of a tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth." Michael Jacskon

Michael was always looking for unconditional love. He learned what that was from reading the Bible. What he gave he rarely got back in return. So few people know what unconditional love is, what it feels like when receiving it, or how to describe it. It is a love that is soul deep. It comes from and penetrates to your soul. It is God-created and there is nothing more fulfilling or lasting.

Michael’s connection to children, as I covered in this blog: Michael, God’s Answered Prayer to Children.

had a lot to do with unconditional love. Michael’s explanations of Jesus’ emphasis on children in scripture, of coming to Christ with “that kind of innocence”. Children are unhindered and have not yet been shoved into boxes they don’t fit into by the world. Children are not yet “of the world” and therefore recognize and can identify love as God designed it, not as the world describes it.

So then, what kind of wife would Michael have needed for a successful marriage?

“With two children of my own, I know what it means to balance the demands of family and career - and let's not even talk about finding a date for myself. Rabbi Shmuley keeps telling me he'll find me the perfect woman. My response is, 'As long as she's not a journalist” Michael Jackson – 2001

“But if you don't have that memory of being loved, you are condemned to search the world for something to fill you up. But no matter how much money you make or how famous you become, you will still feel empty. What you are really searching for is unconditional love, unqualified acceptance. And that was the one thing that was denied to you at birth.” - Michael Jackson, 2001

My friend and I talked about this and because Michael was who he was, my response was as below:

“From what I have learned about Michael, neither Lisa Marie nor Debbie Rowe were ever going to last. Michael was very biblical and even though he may have been drawn to stronger women, he couldn't relate to them. They are typically too demanding and not willing to "cleave to" him as his wife. He would have benefitted more from a Biblical type of wife. Someone who knew how important it was to "become one flesh" with your spouse. Michael by the very nature of his work, needed a woman who could become part of him in every sense of the word. She loved what he loved. His love for children and his fans became her love for them. There is no room for envy or selfishness in a life like Michael's. Not to be a doormat, but to be his support when he needs, give him his creative space when he needs . . . be his shoulder when he needs. To love him and get to know him enough to KNOW when he needs space and when he needs held. Lord knows Michael knew how to be that for others. That takes a love that only God can bring together. Michael was married to his music and his craft. His wife would also have to be.

“I agree with you about Michael marrying earlier on, if he could have found a GOOD woman, and I'm sorry, I don't consider either Lisa Marie and Debbie Rowe "good women" to be his wife. They were good friends but too independent. I so wish he could have met his soul mate of the fairer sex! It's so unfair that he should have felt so isolated and alone.”


Michael and Lisa Marie Presley


That was what I shared with a friend. People surmise that the term “biblical” in relation to things means prudish, or rigid or even judgmental.

My husband and were in such a position where, when we wanted to get married, we had to rely on God. We knew we were meant to be together, but nothing would work out. It was God’s way of backing us into a corner so we would listen. That was in 2005 and it was a very bad year for me.

During one evening of praying alone for answers, I got one and it is one of the miracle milestones in my life. During the following two weeks God answered every prayer that was weighing me down that night. My then “friend” and I got together and we prayed together and made a promise to God. We both told him we had faith that he wanted us together, but that there was something that we weren’t doing. So we promised God that we would “hold off” until the time he saw fit that we could be married, no matter how long it took. Eleven months later, our pastor married us and everything for that wedding came together.

It was during that eleven months, when all we had was each other, conversation, and a promise to keep, that we learned the most about each other. I love that man more than life. It was when we put God first in our relationship that God put us first. It was a blessing I will never forget.

As chaotic as Michael’s life was, and as isolating at times out of necessity for protection, Michael rarely had a chance to ever really explore or to find his soul mate out in the world. However, his focus on his music and the message and God filled some of those voids. I would have really liked that he had more people he could talk to about such things. Even with that said, as I discover more and more of the conversation he had with various people he worked with, recorded with and wrote songs with, I’m finding that he was not so misunderstood by the people that truly “got” him and cared about him.

If he were here today, that is what I would pray for him to have happen. He really and truly deserved it.

“If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.”Michael Jackson

I agree.

27 comments:

  1. You forgot these quotes, too:

    "It takes a lot to find a mirror image, a mirror image. People always say that opposites attract and I think that is true, as well. But I want somebody who is a lot like me, who has the same interests and who wants to help and they gotta go to hospitals with me and care about ~sick children (I changed this for obvious reasons if you have read the book)~."

    "Aha (in agreement with being more interested in class and quiet women who were not all into sex). I don't understand a lot of things that go on in relationships and I don't know if I ever will. I think that is what has hurt me in my relationships because I don't understand how people do some of the things they do (in reference to mean things and vulgar things).

    Michael goes on to say he wanted a love that was "very pure"--in other words, unconditional not full of deception and/or manipulation which both things seemed to find its way into his life on a regular basis.

    The rabbi asks:

    "Michael, have you never met a woman like that who loves those same things, who'd play hide and seek with you, who'd love the water fights with you?"

    Michael says:
    "Not yet. The ones I have had are jealous of the children. All of them. They get jealous of their own kids and start competing with them. That rubs me in a bad way."

    It isn't hard to tell that Michael needed a woman like him, someone intelligent, someone willing to sacrifice privacy, someone willing to commit to some if not a lot of isolation, someone who was willing to devote their life to him but more importantly his causes--that being to help others, especially children, and someone that was willing to be a child with him and play, climb trees, be a child-at-heart while being able to bare adult responsibility, too. He also needed a woman who understood his profession and that he was not a property but rather a gift to share with all of humanity--I don't mean this in a religious way--but he had a gift that could be publicly shared and had fans who adored him and any woman who tried to cut him off from his fans or attach themselves to him would not have had a successful relationship with him. I am sure he was needy--his voracious appetite for unconditional love he at times felt like he lacked would have likely been troublesome at times but that would have taken a deeper understanding of his workings to work through. Michael needed a woman who was patient with him and understood his pain, all of his pain. He had been through a lot, I am not saying he needed a woman to give into his wants or what he thought were needs but he needed a gentle but forceful voice to guide him when he was lost. I just don't think he ever had that, not constantly, anyway.

    Above all else, he needed someone who just simply loved him at the most basic and elementary level of love. That type of love is almost non-existent anymore for the general public--can you imagine what it would be like trying to find it when your name is known to everyone across the world?

    I wish people did not have ulterior motives, I wish they did not want to hurt others even when those others hurt them. I wish people could live their lives more like Michael attempted to lead his--full of love, laughter, work and spirit. Out of all the men in the world, Michael deserved to have a spouse he could lean on during every trial in his life and it will forever hurt me that he did not have that. I guess some things in life we are not meant to ever understand.

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  2. I was led to believe that the Rabbi turned out to NOT be a friend of Michael's.Can anyone let me know? Thanks!

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  3. Gracie, no Rabbi was not complimentary to Michael at all. But the quotes from Michael in answer to Rabbi's questions are priceless. I was at first hesitant about downloading that book because Michael did not want that book released. But of course, a dollar was to be made, so released it was. I'm on the fence about the Rabbi.

    Nikki, I was looking for those quotes and just ran out of time. Thank you so much for posting them. Love you!!!

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  4. Hi Gracie,

    Bonnie pretty much summed it up. The rabbi has said some very harsh words about Michael. To say he was a "friend" when he a) said he did not trust Michael alone around his children (furthermore, he made hints that he was unsure about whether Michael did or did not touch children inappropriately), b) did not cry or feel emotions of sadness upon hearing of his death, and c) has written and said very cruel things about Michael, including information about his speculated drug use/abuse (which as far as I could tell he admitted was mostly hearsay),so, I could hardly call him a friend. I nearly threw up trying to read the book from the beginning just from reading some of the things he said. I have only been able to read snippets of the book thus far. Michael also included his name on a supposed list of people who were out to destroy or hurt him. I agree with Michael's position on this--this man rarely says kind words about Michael and appears to be a hypocrite in my eyes. However, the commentary from Michael is priceless, as Bonnie pointed out. Michael was a very honest person who presented himself as-is. Somewhere online Michael's commentary is available without the rabbi's ramblings and defamatory remarks.

    Love you, too, Bonnie. <3

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  5. Bonnie, you wrote a magnificent essay here, and I am so proud to know you! I love it when I meet someone who understands the need for peeling away the layers to really understand the anguish of the human heart. You and I have a special "wisdom" that allows us to dig deep inside Michael's soul.

    I have often thought about Michael's feelings of isolation despite his being surrounded by oceans of people his entire life. What he craved and never found is what we all take for granted. We are more fortunate than Michael in that we are free to pursue, and we can fail - several times, because we have the luxury of anonymity. Living with fame since childhood, Michael never knew the joy of an honest and spontaneous friendship without feeling exploited or compromised.

    There is a wistful sadness in Michael's eyes and voice as far back as his 1980 interview with Sylvia Chase when he was all of 21 years old. You may have seen that video, Bonnie. Michael looked like an angel as he expressed such a yearning for people to treat him normally and speak to him as they would their next door neighbor. Watching him gives you a sense that his tears were just below the surface and could easily flow if allowed to dwell too long on the thought.

    Michael's demeanor as he talked of wishing for such a simple form of social acceptance made my heart cry for him. I cried because at that moment I knew Michael was special - that we had an angel in our midst. He was more than just a prisoner of his fame and talent. Those two factors alone have never stood in the way of couples coming together and forming lasting relationships.

    Sadly, Michael was also a prisoner of his passionate humanitarian dedication, vulnerability, childlike innocence, and to some degree, his deep spirituality. I don't use the term "prisoner" to mean that any of these qualities are negative - quite the opposite. These are unique qualities for which Michael deserved to be loved, respected, cherished and even tolerated if necessary by a woman with insight to recognize the extraordinary human being he was.

    Michael never knew the emotional security of having one special someone to come home to. That one relationship is what keeps you grounded in perspective, and ensures that a watchful eye has your back at all times. The focus would have had to be on Michael. He was "the" gift to be nourished...so he could flourish. Sharing his life would have meant embarking on a partnership of mutual love and purpose, leaving no dream unfulfilled.

    The challenge for Michael was...where could he have found such a woman? As I sit here a year later still grieving his loss, I would give anything to replay the day I waved to him for a fleeting moment on a street in Los Angeles. The opportunity to meet him was within my grasp, and I let it slip away. I regret it to this day, and will for the rest of my life.

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  6. Thank you Bonnie, this is the blog I have been waiting for. I have always thought why Michael as kind and loving and handsome he was could not find and marry a woman who was like him thoughtful, kind, and loving. It always seem to me it would have benefited him having this woman and also prevented some of the awful allegations he faced. I have not read Rabbi Shmuley's book for me to know that he could not find a woman who would love him unconditionally and be supportive of him. I understand he had no times for him to look, but why was that people around him could not look out for him and introduced him to a beautiful girl inside and out? I believe there are many good women around who would fit him perfectly. Well, maybe it was not meant for him to met his soul mate. What else I can say as the most loving person could not find the love of his life to share life with.

    Your story with your husband is so beautiful. When the first time I knew you are married, I said they must have a very loving, caring and most of all understanding relationship. You only find this kind of unconditional love from you soul mate. I am happy for you my friend. I wish Michael had what you have he would have been here today.

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  7. We must remember Debbie Rowe was never meant to be a 'wife' in any definition of the word.. Lisa, I am not sure, I believe Michael Loved her and wanted this marriage, just my opinion..he wanted children with Lisa..Ms. Rowe... 'I never spent lived at Neverland, I never spent a night a Neverland'.. this from the transcript files from '05 Trial... this is telling and makes it clear this never meant to be a marriage from start to finish, it was so his children were born in 'wedlock'..

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  8. Ladies, you have all written beautifully and sensitively about this subject. Apart from one area of speculation I won't go into :) I think Michael understood that it would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to find the perfect soulmate and part of his loneliness was knowing that. That was not being in any way selfish or chauvinistic but an acceptance of himself and his way of life and what he wanted to achieve.

    Imagine what it would be like knowing that and at the same time wanting many children of his own. Still, he tried, and I'm glad the two women (mentioned) gave him something.

    I so wish he had found his soulmate but really, I don't think that person exists, not totally. She would have to be as special and as strong as he was, and perhaps even more so, yet in a different way. Someone with all the qualities mentioned by Bonnie and in the comments of others. A very unique being.

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  9. I think someone like Mother Theresa, would have been a perfect wife for Michael.

    But there was only "ONE" Mother Theresa in the world.

    And then, there was the age difference, too.

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  10. Michael had seen in his own family examples of unsuccessful marriages and relationships under conditions far less stressful and publicized than his own and, in his own humility, I feel would have wondered about the fragility of their marriages and how he could ever have done a better job at STAYING married.

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  11. @bonnieroe Why won´t you go into that? And the two women mentioned? Is there something you would like to share? Is it about the person so many are obsessed with? Have you read Carr´s latest about that subject? I don´t like when we talk in riddles...

    And I think those women exists, just not around Michael. And that I´m so sorry for.

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  12. It breaks my heart. Whenever I think about this, in my mind's eye, I see this incredibly sensitive man on stage reaching out for this unconditional love he was looking for, being temporarily fulfilled by his fans (they love him for his music/dancing), but having the stage as a cocoon that protects, yet isolates him from the people who love him. Then he goes home, lonely without anyone to really talk to about how he feels after a concert. He has to work himself down from that adrenaline high all by himself.

    It's empty when you reach out and give out all this love and there is nothing there for you. Or you see it, but there is a glass wall and you can't get through it because if you do, you will get hurt, so you don't even try.

    Michael saw the pain out there in the world. And it was inflicted on him as well.

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  13. Nikki – thank for further posting what Michael said on Rabbi book. I think opposite attract is good for some physics or science and sort of but not for relationships. I strongly believe for relationship to be successful the couple have to be in the same page in all level of their lives. Otherwise, conflict of interests will arise and marriage will be break. I think also when people say I married to my soul mate means I married to the one who thinks, believe, value what I value like me. I never knew until I read Bonnie's blog and everyone's comment that Michael could not be able to met such a woman who at least on the same page with him. I can truly understand how difficult it is to meet someone who acts and thinks like you but I never thought it would be difficult for him. Michael was successful practically in everything he aspired but in one of the most important area of his life he could not make it, and that saddened me the most.

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  14. Nice blog Bonnie, I enjoyed this one. What hurts me the most about this is he will never find this love now that he is gone. I longed for him to find this woman who would truly love, without wanting something in return. He needed someone who accepted him and he really needed some support through all he went through. I believe she was out there, there is someone for everyone, he just hasn't found her yet. The people behind Michael's murder took away so much.

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  15. I agree with the kind of woman you and some others say he needed, Bonnie. But wow, so few and far between that could fit that bill! One has to remember that in a marriage situation, the woman has needs too. And I think that could be one of the biggest challenges for someone in Michael's postition.

    To me, the chances of a lasting marriage were always very slim for Michael. In later years it may have been partly due to his isolation and maybe he actually became set in his ways like many of us.

    This is what I think was his biggest problem in this area...in his own words (thank you for this Bonnie):

    “But if you don't have that memory of being loved, you are condemned to search the world for something to fill you up...denied to you at birth."

    Much of our adulthood is about our childhood, and how we tend in so many ways to reflect our earliest experiences. He really had nothing to draw from regarding the realities of a healthy union, no example. Except maybe Rebbie, which I can only assume was a distant example, later on.

    That statement of his brings something else to mind...I thought his mother was that person. Why would he have said something like that if he had his mother's nurturance? Gee, did I just assume he received "unconditional love" and "unqualified acceptance" from her because Michael loved her so much? Maybe he had less than I had thought. How terribly sad.

    I think that he and Lisa Marie actually shared some mutual love and happiness...for a very short time. Or maybe I just need to hope so. But as has been said, it was pretty much doomed from the start.

    Very few people in this world are fortunate enough to meet a "soul mate". Some give up and can be quite content living an uncomplicated life alone with their kids.

    Michael was able to experience unconditional love with his own children. But that too makes me sad that he got to spend so few years of joy with the ones he most cherished and had waited so long for. A lot of sadness in his life but I think there is one solice...children are what he most wanted in his world. If he had to choose, he certainly got his first wish. For that, I am happy for him, and thankful.

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  16. @ Lana. No, sorry, I have nothing to share. It's just that I've read any number of speculations and I've speculated myself but that's all they are - speculations. I have had a very strong hope/wish/dream that he did find his soul mate and if a wish could come true, I wish that one had. In the end it brings comfort to know that he found unconditional love in his children.

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  17. truthbetold - in his book “Moonwalk” he said he can't imagine growing up without a mother's love, and his mother treated each child as if that was the only child she had. He explained his mother's unconditional love very well in the book. I don't know why he made the statment: “But if you don't have that memory of being loved, you are condemned to search the world for something to fill you up...denied to you at birth." To me it seems like he was saying he had that unconditional love from his mother so he did not have to search for someone to fill him, instead he was looking for someone who was in the same level like he was but could not find one.

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  18. Good point Mimi, thanks. Could be he was expressing his empathy for all those who didn't have it.

    I guess for me, this part of it connected it to him and made me wonder:
    "But no matter how much money you make or how famous you become, you will still feel empty."

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  19. Hey Bonnie, I want to tell you I am enjoying reading your blog. I love that you are so very spiritual and I especially appreciated this very insightful piece. Anyway I'm going to link you to my own website and I just wanted to say hi.

    I read on your profile that you never expected to be writing about Michael, well you do it very well and it's a wonderful thing to be in-spirit.

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  20. This was one of my favorite pieces. It's hard to get back here to post after a new blog entry is up and I'm answering comments on that one too.

    I have wanted to write this for a long time. There is so much garbage out there and even "FACT" websites that list Michael's sexual orientation as "unknown". Ridiculous! I guess John Wayne in "the Quiet Man" would be "gay" according to these people, because he didn't just "go after" Maureen O'Hara! (I love that movie BTW).

    CobraCrackCentral - I love your I.D. Not sure what it means, but it made me laugh. Is this the first time you posted here? Thank you very much! I appreciate that. Could you post your web site here so we can all patronize it?

    In-Spirit = In-Strength

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  21. Cobra - I love your website! Linking here!!!

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  22. What about Diana Ross? Some people believe that she was the woman for him.

    This is what I heard, although I agree with what has been said here.

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  23. I keep coming back to this post of yours. I just love it so much.

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  24. The Rabbi did not have Michael's best interests at heart and that book was not meant to be published in the way that it was...but, as Bonnie said, the answers Michael gave are priceless and really let people get a glimpse of his soul, and they have been verified as being his true answers from recorded conversations.

    I also love the quotes Nikki added because these are very important to note. So many out there are saying such horrible, vile, disgusting things about Michael and making him out to be a man with no morals who slept around with all kinds of women (which would make him just like about every other musician out there, which all of us know, he was NOT like anyone else and he certainly had a very strong moral and Christian background and faith. These same fans also state that he specifically asked for his costumes to be made to highlight a certain body part (and yet, in these same interviews with Shmuley, he specifically states that he never wanted women to look there!), and yet, when we look at Michael himself and what he says, that is not the man I see before my eyes, nor the man that God showed me.

    There is much confusion out there being spread by the fan base, making Michael out to be someone very different from who he was.

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  25. good morning bonnie...i just want to tell you that this is the first time that i read something honest and deep about michael.you really knew his heart and soul.i also think that what he made for your spiritual life is wonderful...reading about the way you think michael's soul mate should have been i got frozen...it's me...in everything..but it does n't matter,i could never get to him because of barricades etc. this is the real wall of glass.this is what i think...the one he wanted was out there but he could n't meet her because she was not one of his world,not a famous woman,i will never stop thinking that i was that person,after the shmuley boteach tapes i totally persuaded my self that i was that person,that i AMthat woman.anyway..goodbye...and thank you all...

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    Replies
    1. Hello benedetta,

      This is a very old post but I posted your post. I'm glad you feel connected to Michael. It's the soul through God which makes us one - One through Christ. Michael was very Biblical. I'm glad you recognize that. God bless you always. Hold tight to God and you will be close to Michael. :o)

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  26. dear bonnie, thanks for posting my message and for answering me. keep on talking about your important experience, young people must have the chance to listen to the word of GOD and you're making a good job. GOD BLESS YOU TOO .thanks again .your sister in christ benedetta.

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