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Michael Jackson Justice: How Far Did Michael Have to Carry His?

God: Reconnect to Him

The Conspiracy against God is about "The Word", and the profaning of His Holy Name within us. Adam fell in the garden, breaking the direct connection to God. Jesus, the "last Adam" was a quickening Spirit, the Word made Flesh, and the only one with whom we can re-establish our relationship with God. Michael's story is still unfolding. He is the one who is, is not. But Jesus is the only name given under heaven by which we must be saved. Many are trying to rewrite HIStory. We were given a help to instruct us. Learn more "here".

Monday, August 8, 2011

How Far Did Michael Have to Carry His?


The Crosses We Bear



Love Lifted Me

Mark 8:34  34 And he called the people unto him with his disciples, and said unto them, Whosoever will follow me, let him forsake himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

Mark 10:21 -  Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me.

Almost two years ago today I asked God for the burden of someone elses cross.  That prayer opened up a new world for me.  It taught me the meaning of true love, unconditional love.  It taught me about the love God has for us and what he wants for us to have toward others.  That prayer also began the project that became this blog.  For the first time since I started this I am now questioning my ability to continue to carry it.

I wonder if the struggle I am going through has anything to do with self.  It is still the same battle and the same question.  Do I want?  What is it I want and do I want it for myself or for others?  Did I somehow put myself before God on this path somewhere?

I think about the heart of Jesus, when he was on the ground in anguish, praying to God in the garden of Gethsemane.  The prayer where I can only imagine him asking God to push away his fear and replace it with his purpose for others.  I can hear him and feel with all my heart, his wanting assurance that what he was going to endure would be worth it.  That he could save enough people but knowing he would suffer and many would not only throw away that love, but that people would mock him and those that love him.

How often will a person be presented with an opportunity to do something for someone else that they fear doing, but still want to do it with all their heart to the point of forsaking everything else, every other need they have?  And once they make this commitment, how do they explain it to others who depended on them?

I want to know how long it was before Job’s family and friends finally stopped trying to convince him that he was being burdened by God because he did something wrong?

I want to know how hard it was for Jonah to dig his heals in, fighting God’s will for him before he finally stopped struggling and did what he knew he had to do?

I want to know how long David was in the wilderness on his knees amongst the rocks and bushes, pleading with God to forgive him, begging for redemption for Israel and asking for another chance?

I want to know what it was that changed God’s mind about waiting until they could get Lot out of Sodom before he destroyed it?

I want to know why it is that we are so afraid of change that we would walk willingly into the very trap the devil sets for us instead of reaching for what we had been praying for all along . . . the promise of something better?

How to Mess Up Your Hair for God
Michael’s Lesson Number One

I have a responsibility on this blog because of a promise I made.  It is in writing at the top of this blog.  Michael’s Guardian. 

I asked for this burden.  I should be doing this job gracefully and I am not.  The reason I am not is because of personal fears.  I am being torn between what used to be and what is to come by people that love me. 

Only one person I know even understands a commitment that forsakes the self.  Because I also love them and devoted myself to them BEFORE this blog I let them pull me back over into what was that will never be again.  It makes this journey that much harder even though I know they are not doing this consciously.  It is their fears too that do this.  I allow them to drag me back over that line because I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want them to feel alone.


This reminds me of the dream, running from those that wanted me to look back.  In the dream I refused to do it, knowing it would take me.  I kept my eyes on Jesus in that dream once I saw the door that was opened to him.  It wasn’t my own strength that got me over the threshold of that door, it was his love that kept me crawling on that floor to get to him.



I feel as if I am crawling right now, on the floor, with no energy, no strength left in my body.  In the dream I just had to keep going.  In real life I want to put my head down on the floor and let sleep take me.

I have cried so much since last night my tear ducts hurt.  It was quarter past three when I finally dragged myself to bed after spending four hours in front this computer, staring at Michael’s picture and asking God, “what are you doing?  People are suffering.  Children are dying, people are being tortured and you are asking us to ‘endure to the end’.  So when is that, God?  What are we supposed to learn from another incident of child abuse in the news?  What are we supposed to learn from listening to or reading about yet another fiscal hero saving a bank with the life savings of thousands of people who lost their homes?  The bad guys win again?  Is this what we are supposed to be learning?  Because I think we have that lesson down pat.”

It was not a happy prayer.  I wish I could tell you I got an answer, but I didn’t.  I went to bed with swollen sinuses and aching eyes.  I had a dream that I could not remember when I woke up and the same feeling in my heart that I had when I went to bed.

I guess I expected to have more understanding from people I thought knew the Bible better than me.  I guess I expected the dragging down to come from my enemies, not those I love and that I consider family.  I console myself with the thought of how Jesus must have felt when Judas came upon him in the garden and kissed his cheek to betray him.  If I asked God to give me the pain of that betrayal would Jesus know I truly love him?

Jesus would, but would mortal man know or feel that?  Is that how you change the heart of a person?

If Michael heard or knew that I had prayed that prayer back in 2009, would he as a result feel that love?

If I reverse the question and ask myself, “did you feel the love of Jesus when you learned he asked for your pain, your loneliness, your punishment?”

This is what churches should be asking people before Baptizing them.  Instead they either get their foreheads sprinkled when they are too young to control their own bowels or they are asked to ‘repeat after me’, in rote, what the minister says to be “saved”.  That’s like listening to our government telling us the war is for peace.  Means nothing when you walk out of those church doors and continue to do what you have been doing, leaving Jesus singing “All I want to say is that they don’t really care….”


There are people out there that God is waiting for.   Those people are the ones in which the numbers must be complete.  This means that people are suffering and continue to suffer because God is holding out for all his children.

The songs my sister and I first learned to harmonize to
Washed in the Blood

I’ll Fly Away

This means that those of us here still suffering are going to have to agree to do so, for God’s plan to get to the hearts of those that will accept him.  This means we have agreed to suffer for the sake of the saving of others.

I don’t like it that it has to be this way, but if that is what God’s plan is, to reach everyone he knows will accept him, then I want that.  I want as many of his children to be saved as possible.  I know that our fears, our suffering and the suffering of children are going to be no more when those numbers are complete.  We will remember none of it and the miracles we see and experience between now and then are just God’s way of showing us that he is here and he is in control.

I want everyone who reads this blog to think about this.  Make just one commitment to put one person before yourself, or to pray to God and ask him to give you the burden of someone who is suffering so that they feel that love.  Ask God to have Jesus show you how to do that and to give your heart that capacity.

If everyone did this then all prayers will be answered.

“When all calls, I will answer all your prayers” – Michael Jackson’s lyrics in “Cry”.

“I can hear your prayers, your burdens I will bear” . . . Michael Jackson’s lyrics in “You Are Not Alone”

Those two Bible passages above are to be taken seriously if I am going to continue this blog.  We can’t serve two masters and we can’t carry our cross if we won’t let go of what used to be.  That is what I have to do. That is what I have to tell my loved ones I have to do.  I don’t know how this will happen, but I’m not running this show, the director is.



Is it scary?  (uh, sorry Mike, no pun was intended)  Yes.  But that is what prayers are for.

Michael Joe Jackson – this if for you

This is for your family

And this is for those that don’t understand why I answered a question the way I did when you asked me.

I love you all unconditionally. That doesn’t mean you won’t ever hurt me and it doesn’t mean I won’t ever hurt you.  When you care, that possibility always will be there.


                A Birth Certificate shows that we were born.
                A Death Certificate shows that we died.
                Pictures show that we live!
                Have a seat.  Relax . . .
                and read this slowly.


               I Believe...
                That just because two people argue,
                It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
                And just because they don't argue,
                It doesn't mean they do love each other.


               I Believe...
                That we don't have to change friends if
                We understand that friends change.


               I Believe....
                That no matter how good a friend is,
                they're going to hurt you,
                every once in a while
                and you must forgive them for that.


               I Believe.....
                That true friendship continues to grow,
                even over the longest distance.
                Same goes for true love.


               I Believe...
                That you can do something in an instant
                That will give you heartache for life.


               I Believe....
                That it's taking me a long time
                To become the person I want to be.


               I Believe...
                That you should always leave loved ones with Loving words.
                It may be the last time you see them.


               I Believe....
                That you can keep going long after you think you can't.


               I Believe....
                That we are responsible for what
                We do, no matter how we feel.


               I Believe...
                That either you control your attitude or it controls you.


               I Believe....
                That heroes are the people
                who do what has to be done
                when it needs to be done,
                regardless of the consequences.


               I Believe....
                That my best friend and I
                can do anything or nothing
                and have the best time..


               I Believe....
                That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're
                down will be the ones to help you get back up.


               I Believe...
                That sometimes when I'm angry
                I have the right to be angry, but that
                doesn't give me the right to be cruel.


               I Believe...
                That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
                And what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.


               I Believe.....
                That it isn't always enough,
                to be forgiven by others.
                Sometimes, you have to learn
                to forgive yourself.


               I Believe...
                That no matter how bad
                your heart is broken,
                the world doesn't stop for your grief.


               I Believe....
                That our background and circumstances
                may have influenced who we are, but,
                we are responsible for who we become.


               I Believe...
                That you shouldn't be
                so eager to find out a secret.
                It could change your life forever.


               I Believe....
                Two people can look at the exact same
                Thing and see something totally different.


               I Believe...
                That your life can be changed
                in a matter of hours
                by people who don't even know you.


               I Believe...
                That even when you think
                you have no more to give,
                When a friend cries out to you,
                you will find the strength to help.


               I Believe...
                That credentials on the wall
                do not make you a decent human being.


               I Believe...
                That the people you care about
                most in life are taken from you too soon.


               I Believe...
               'The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of              everything;
                They just make the most of everything they have.


I don’t know why I thought this would be easy.  I can honestly say I did not know what was involved and just how much there was to deal with . . . but that doesn’t make me any sorrier that I said that prayer.  It just makes me wish I had perhaps uttered it sooner, and let him know that I loved him when he would have had more time to feel it.

Michael and Brett-Livingstone Strong


Good Show . . . I can’t think of a better place for things Michael made to enhance a healing environment for children. ♥♥♥

How Great Thou Art

Hey Michael – six to eight years old
No Instruments Required
No Sound Boards either

Cactus Cuties a little older
Joy to the World


Just for the Record - Paris on Twitter - No.
It Should Not Be

7 comments:

  1. Bonnie said: "I Believe...That you can do something in an instant That will give you heartache for life."

    And that is where I stand today. It's a long story that I won't get into but suffice to say that I've spent more than a few moments recently thinking about a sentence just like that...how an instant back in my childhood has led me down a certain path and caused heartache not just for me but for my children as well, and dear Lord how do I unravel it?

    Bonnie, I feel your pain, maybe not the entirety of what you are going through but maybe a small portion. God gives us the strength we need day by day if we ask. He also doesn't give us more than we can bear and I have to keep that thought close to my heart because I know He can get me through what I am going through and I know He can get you through it as well.

    Many of the people in the bible were ridiculed for their beliefs, a lot of times by those closest to them. It makes for a lonely walk.

    Thank you for this post Bonnie. I'm taking it as a call to arms.

    Bonnie said "I don’t know why I thought this would be easy. I can honestly say I did not know what was involved and just how much there was to deal with"

    Bonnie, I believe if you had known what you would find, you wouldn't have even uttered that prayer two years ago. I believe that's the reason we're not allowed to know the future; if we knew half of what was in store for us just the next day I believe a lot of us would just give up, it would be too much to bear. God is a wonderful God, He knows this. You're doing a wonderful job. I'm praying for you.

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  2. Bonnie said : "That prayer also began the project that became this blog. For the first time since I started this I am now questioning my ability to continue to carry it."

    You are at a crossroads, I think. Being only a reader here I too feel strange since a while. The world situation is part of it & affects us all inequally. As to Michael, clarity on his character & his past, we now have yes; but no clarity as to the events of June 25, 2009 : 2 long years. I however believe we owe to Michael to continue to accompany him & not let our arms fall now but each one decides for oneself of course. Your own journey on Michael was a long & exhausting one : if the discouragement & disappointment win at times, it is understandable, without forgetting the past attacks on your Blog. I imagine you think : "all this for what ?". I may be wrong but whichever the trials' results or your own personal direction will be, your spiritual journey for Michael was never vain for when God will call you in Heaven once - like all of us - you already secured yourself a true friend Michael Angel in Heaven :o) OK, I can't be serious ! For now at least, we all will take each a portion of your own burden♥

    Whichever orientation you take, we are to respect it but I will always unconditionally be grateful to you for not only opening my eyes on Michael's deep soul & many other issues but also for all the sweat, the tears, the concentration, the headaches & the burden you suffered in Michael's name...but don't leave that Blog !:o) God is with you definitely & in His time will show you the way. It comes from my heart but is only said in my own plain & silly words. Don't forget to enjoy life :o)

    God Bless you & you family &
    God Bless Mrs. Katherine Jackson & the MJ3 for their wonderful donation.

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  3. Bonnie – I feel your pain so much. Yes there are many children dying each day. Look what is happening in Somalia, thousands of children dying because they couldn’t find food, where there are abundant food that God provides for all of us in the world.

    I know it hurts but we don’t know God’s time so we have to keep doing our responsibility to better our world even in a small way. The situations seems very overwhelming, some of the reason I believe inequality is getting dipper and dipper in the world. The rich are getting very, very rich and the poor are getting very, very poor. Well, remember “we shall overcome” and “this too shall pass.”

    I love all of those “I believe” but this is the one that touched me the most.

    “I Believe....
    That our background and circumstances
    may have influenced who we are, but,
    we are responsible for who we become."

    Oh Bonnie, that was a wonderful news Michael’s own arts donated to the children hospital and they will be displayed there. If I ever go to LA, I will make sure I go to that hospital and see them.
    Mimi

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  4. I'm worried about you, in all fairness. I think you should talk to someone. This isn't healthy.

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  5. Deb said - "how an instant back in my childhood has led me down a certain path and caused heartache not just for me but for my children as well, and dear Lord how do I unravel it?"

    ......... Me too Deb. I think I know where you are. I think if I began "unraveling" it will come to a point where there is nothing left of me, LOL! (invisible man mummy). I tried my best to give my children better than I had and I'm sure I at least succeeded at that. They had a much more secure childhood than I had even if one of them had to deal with prejudice. If I had known what was ahead, I think I still would have gone ahead and done it, especially knowing the cause. I think you would too. Jonah knew what was ahead and he kept trying to hide from God. You know what happened to him, so . . . I think I would still just go ahead and do what he wanted me to do. I would just worry more about it. :o)
    --------------------------------------------

    Line said - "I however believe we owe to Michael to continue to accompany him & not let our arms fall now but each one decides for oneself of course. Your own journey on Michael was a long & exhausting one : if the discouragement & disappointment win at times, it is understandable, without forgetting the past attacks on your Blog. I imagine you think : "all this for what ?".

    .......... You know I can do nothing but agree with you on that. We are not alone, right? It's not the purpose that is the exhausting part. I believe God gives you energy for that, but man, people sure know how to take that away from you without even meaning to. You know what is the hardest? Seeing some of the things his family does and not being able to justify it in my mind. You have no idea how much it bothers me that Paris is on Twitter. She's not my child. My children were not "networking" at 13 on the computer and they are boys AND they don't have the hatred directed at them or their father that Paris has had lobbed at her. The Tribute, a BUNCH of decisions like that that really just take the energy right out of me. What keeps popping into my head is Jermaine's twitter "it will get rough for the fans and the family..." But Paris on Twitter? Can we keep not even Michael's children innocent? That really burns my butt!!!

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  6. Line said - "you already secured yourself a true friend Michael Angel in Heaven :o) OK, I can't be serious ! For now at least, we all will take each a portion of your own burden♥ "

    ....... I had to continue on page two, lol. Awwwwww. You're serious . . . you know you are :o) I watched a bunch of him today - speeches mostly. I prefer some of the fan interactions though because some of them are funny, watching people's reactions. Something to make me smile in all this. It is going to get tough, tough, tough. It scares me that people treat this as entertainment. Just another movie called the six-o'clock news.

    You said - "but don't leave that Blog !:o) God is with you definitely & in His time will show you the way. "

    ......... I hope he still thinks I'm worthy. God knows I'm impatient but he also knows it's the suffering of others I would like to see end. You and Micheline, Jenny, Truthbtold and Mimi as well as a few others that post only periodically sure have helped with the links and stuff I don't have time or can't get to. I am indebted to you for your support and love. ♥♥♥
    ----------------------------------------------
    Anonymous said - "Yes there are many children dying each day. Look what is happening in Somalia, thousands of children dying because they couldn’t find food, where there are abundant food that God provides for all of us in the world."

    ......... Oh, many countries in Africa going through this when there should be no reason for it. There is no reason! I think everyone in the world should send as many pictures of these children as they can afford to Rockefeller's house and Rothschild's house and just BURY him in the consequences of what he is doing! Rockefeller and his ilk have no idea that God already has them chipped.

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  7. Worried said - "I'm worried about you, in all fairness. I think you should talk to someone. This isn't healthy."

    ...... Uh, in all fairness, what do you think it is I am doing . . . and are you offering? :o)

    ReplyDelete

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