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Michael Jackson Justice: Assuming Facts Not In Evidence is a One-Sided Objections

God: Reconnect to Him

The Conspiracy against God is about "The Word", and the profaning of His Holy Name within us. Adam fell in the garden, breaking the direct connection to God. Jesus, the "last Adam" was a quickening Spirit, the Word made Flesh, and the only one with whom we can re-establish our relationship with God. Michael's story is still unfolding. He is the one who is, is not. But Jesus is the only name given under heaven by which we must be saved. Many are trying to rewrite HIStory. We were given a help to instruct us. Learn more "here".

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Assuming Facts Not In Evidence is a One-Sided Objections

Day (???) Conrad Murray Trial – Michael Jackson
And They Said It Would Last Forever….

One More Chance
Thank you Blake

I Thessalonians 2:3-8
3 For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. 4 On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. 5 You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness. 6 We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else, even though as apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority. 7 Instead, we were like young children among you.

As I sit here and wait for court to start I am listening to some of the talking heads on HLN recap some of the prosecution’s witness testimony, talking about how interesting Shaffer will have to be to keep the jury awake.

Then Vince Whatever-his-name-is comments on the testimony of Dr’s Steinberg and Kamangar, as he comments on Kamangar basically reiterating what Dr. Steinberg said.  He mentions Kamangar using words like “egregious” and right after, one of the people they have on locations uses the word “egregious” in his description of Murray using the Propofol on top of the other drugs.

So now they have to borrow a vocabulary, as if they don’t have one.  That’s comforting.  It did make me laugh which is a good way to start the day.  You somehow feel above it all when you can see the transparency of the people who want you to believe they are giving you “news”.

The Prosecution was direct questioning their witness, Dr. Stephen Shafer, the Anesthesiologist last Thursday.  An explanation of what happened is here:

Shafer began testifying Thursday morning before the judge recessed for the weekend so he could travel to a medical convention. He never made it there because of the death in his family, Walgren said Friday.

Shafer, who is expected to give a detailed scientific explanation of how propofol is metabolized in the human body, will be on the witness stand for at least a day, according to Walgren.

Shafer's testimony is expected to echo the opinions of a sleep expert and a cardiologist who testified that Murray's treatment of Jackson was so grossly negligent that it was criminal.”  Source

Any speculation that Prince will be called to the stand was nixed according to this same news source, quoting Miss Katherine Jackson.

But Katherine Jackson, the matriarch of the Jackson family, reconfirmed to CNN Tuesday that she is opposed to Prince Jackson being called as a witness and that there are no discussions going on with prosecutors about it.”  Source

Walgren continues with Dr. Shafer

- Walgren got a haircut.

- Shaffer describes the difference between Intensive Care Sedation (MAC), long term sedation, and MAC sedation for minor procedures (small period of time).

- Conrad Murray looks sleepy

- Just a personal observation, but I like this guy.  He works.  Less arrogant than Steinberg and less snide than Kamangar.  He has done most of the modern study setting the standard for anesthesiology, publishing over 160 articles and over 50 book chapters.  You can tell he is used to teaching people, and is therefore a lot better at explaining and making eye contact without looking like an actor trying to be “cute”.

-  He currently practices at Columbia in New York but expects to move back to California sometime next year since his wife currently works and lives out there.  He states he still practices in hospitals and operating rooms and that is the most important part of his professional life.

- He has not charged for medical malpractice cases or to appear in cases in the last 10 years for reasons of credibility.  He has no criticism of those that do charge however, that it was just his personal choice.

- Shaffer is very careful to word his testimony in a way where he wanted to testify in a case where Propofol is used outside of standard uses of the drug.  He does not attack Murray as the other witnesses have, but makes his point that patients should NOT be afraid to be given “the same drug that killed Michael Jackson” because it is a fantastic drug when used as it should be used, by people trained to use it.

- He uses the term “medical misadventure” which would suggest a doctor using a drug or performing procedures in which they are not trained.

Afternoon Break

Walgren’s Direct of Shaffer continues

- A dramatization video is being shown as to how it should be and how it could have happened (just like CSI . . . .).  It’s a good think they didn’t do this in Michael Jackson’s criminal trial!  This is getting bizarre.  This video is supposed to show what would happen if someone suffered cardiac arrest while on Propofol and what SHOULD have been done.  Talk on HLN supports possible inflaming of the jury.

- Shaffer comes back on the stand and is asked about some of the medical equipment used in anesthesia for purposes of identification before they show this film.

- Shaffer explains that “saline” is used for several reasons, including for patients who are slightly dehydrated . . . he called it Intravenous Gatoraide.  It also assists in direct intravenous application of drugs and it is always running just a little bit so they have that access when medications need to be administered.  He goes on to explain all parts of the intravenous bag and it’s ports.

- I noticed a different lady is transcribing in court today.  Murray looks more awake then he did this morning before the break.  Doc Shaffer is demonstrating how to open the seal on the bottle of Propofol before administering to the IV.

- Walgren walks the bottle over to Flanagan and Chernoff.  Chernoff in a good mood today, is polite and thanks the doctor for demonstrating.

- Walgren shows Dr. Shaffer a picture of a stopper on a Propofol bottle with a linear line and Shaffer explains that indicates a spike was used to access the Propofol.

- Walgren introduces the video, asking if this demonstrates the safe administration of Propofol.

Video Shows and Dr. Shaffer Explains points through video

- Room Preparation

- Dr. Shaffer explains anesthesiologist reviews and tests equipment to be used, including emergency and airway equipment, the latter being most important.

- Important, anesthesiologist breathing circuit is checked and moved air if the patient’s diaphragm or chest stops breathing in it’s own.

- Suction apparatus for stomach to keep stomach bile out of esophagus before patient’s next breath. This prevents it from going to the lungs which would be fatal.

- They set infusion rate per body weight to get everything ready.

- Anesthesiologist always interviews patient and performs physical (I have never gotten a physical from an anesthesiologist that I can remember from surgeries), listen to airway.

- They get informed consent form signed by patient.  This documents that the processes have been followed.  This must be in writing or certain procedures cannot be performed.

- Anesthesia pause is observed/performed in the operating room – I don’t remember any of this either, but I may have been under the influence at that time.

- The shows moment by moment connection to patient.  Anesthesiologist writes everything down on a chart, including heart rates, pulse, oxygen saturation levels and records drugs given, time, etc…

- Checks on infusion pump constantly, heart rate, systolic and asystolic pressures every five minutes, etc…

- Shows blood pressure drops, caused by Propofol and mild dehydration due to not eating before surgery.

- Shows adding of ephedrine to raise the heart rate and the blood pressure jumps back up.

- Shows how to unobstructed an airway revealed by break in the reading of the carbon dioxide reading levels.

- Shows example of apnea, which is revealed by flat carbon dioxide reading.  It is then that anestheologist must move to breathe for and respiration for the patient (bagging them).

- Shows example of Cardiac arrest on monitors – flat heart rate, flat breathing.  Anesthesiologist 1. Checks to see if monitor leads fell off, 2 calls for help, 3. One person begins CPR, 4 another begins ventilation, 5. Emergency drugs like Lidocaine are introduced to revive patient, infusion of blood, whatever is needed.

- CPR is continued until patient revives or is pronounced dead.  This concludes the reenactment video.

Lunch Break 

Walgren’s Direct Examination of Dr. Shaffer Resumes

- Shaffer states that administration of Propofol is not limited to anesthesiologists but they all have to follow the same protocol.

- Shaffer says you always prepare for worst case scenario.  Shaffer saw the report of Conrad Murray and marked various deviations from the standard of care.  He describes from minor violation with is something that is not consistent with standard of care, but which would not lead to harm to the patient.  Severe deviation would of course risk harm to the patient and egregious violations might lead to catastrophic outcome to the patient and should never happen.  Unconscionable would include egregious and gets to a question of breech of the rights of the patient.

- He lists them – 1. Basic airway equipment was egregious because Michael Jackson died because he stopped breathing.  Airway equipment was not there and the patient was left there not being monitored.

- He said a simple chin lift could have been all that was required to safe his life.  (Remember this is not the same as the cause of death, Propofol intoxication).  Ambu bag was present but Murray did not state he used it.  (Good wording, he is very careful to say this). *

- Shaffer wants to change his “severe deviation” on the absence of advanced airway equipment because there was no backup there and no one else there to help him.  He wanted to change that view to egregious.

- Shaffer basis his assumption that Murray purchased 130, 100 ml bottles of Propofol which would make it approximately 1 per night to use on Michael.  Of course this is never in Murray’s testimony, this is an assumption based on Shaffer assuming that all that Propofol ordered was for Michael Jackson.

- Walgren presents the total of all Propofol ordered between April and June of 2009 and again Shaffer assumes that ALL THIS PROPOFOL is ordered by Murray specifically for Michael Jackson alone.

- Shaffer explains the suction equipment absence is an egregious deviation of care considering there is no evidence that Michael was told not to eat or drink 6 hours before administering of Propofol.  (This could have lead to a catastrophic outcome, aspiration).

- There was no infusion pump, and the rate of Propofol delivery cannot be controlled leading to possibility of overdose.  Egregious.

- roller wheel is the only way Murray had to control the flow of Propofol which is extremely imprecise.

- Pulse Oximeter egregious because what was used did not have an alarm and completely inappropriate for use as a continuous monitor.  You have to actually pick it up and look at it.  He explains how a proper pulse oximeter would alert the doctor that something was wrong with tones of dropping oxygen.  He says that WOULD have saved Michael Jackson’s life.

- Use of blood pressure cuff his findings were egregious deviation.  (This is interesting, how the body protects itself by shutting down blood flow in the extremities to keep the vital organs oxygenated when blood pressure drops.  God is amazing!)

- Absence of electrocardiogram Shaffer finds egregious.  This is routine monitoring in anesthesia.  Because of this Murray could not tell what the heart was doing and could not direct his therapy accordingly.  Medical records he testifies, is an unconscionable violation not to have them, to see what was done to the patient.
(my experience on this in my surgery).  Without medical record the patient and the FAMILY has been denied the right to know what was done to the patient in case of death.  (I agree but this is not always practiced.  Parallel with other government abuses.)  Unconscionable.  There is a California requirement to keep records.  Even if the patient doesn’t want to release records or doesn’t want the doctor to keep records, it is against requirements not to.  (Agree, should be explained to uncooperative patient.)  Patient privacy, I have issues with this.  We’ve already seen the abuses to Michael under the state of California; Michael certainly had fears of the state having access to his records.  In this case based on my opinion, Murray should have declined to treat Michael without his releasing of medical records.  Shaffer confirms this just as I am writing this.(Government abuses of regulation also in question)

- There was no evidence of an assessment of Michael’s health except for months before the nightly infusions began. (again Shaffer is careful about saying there is “no evidence of” instead of outwardly accusing Murray of not doing it.

- Not getting informed consent important for review of patient care and to inform patient of risks involved with procedures.

Mid afternoon break

Walgren continues with Shaffer Direct Examination

- Walgren resumes questioning Dr. Shaffer on his views of using the other sedatives found in Michael’s system.  Dr. Shaffer goes through the properties/effects of Lorazapam and Midazolam, what their usual uses are and uses the phrase “pharmacological Never-neverland” in Michael’s body.

This is a very odd phrase for an educated doctor to use in reference to multiple drugs being in Michael’s system.  A plethora, a “menagerie”, a “cocktail”, a mixture or any of those indicating a description of multiple drugs would have been a more precise meaning. 

Instead Shaffer uses “Never-neverland”, which has an entirely different meaning; one that indicates a “far away place” or “make believe”.  I don’t know what the heck that was supposed to mean but it made me stop mid-chew in my dinner, run into my office and get my note paper and pen to write it down! (And my husband is watching me with this look of “seriously?  During dinner?” but he doesn’t say a word.  Just the eyes follow me to and from while he continues eating.  Would have been funny if I weren’t so intent on not forgetting the exact words the doctor used).

- Walgren asks, and Shaffer replies yes to the question about the Study done in China on Propofol use for sleep disorders or insomnia.  Shaffer expands to say that this is the ONLY written up study that was done and reviewed, and made a point to say it was under the guidance of the ethical review board, was done at a hospital and the scientists/doctors had written informed consent from each of the test subjects.

- Shaffer states that he read the review and noted that the same equipment and safety protocols were followed.

- Walgren then recaps Shaffer’s findings in the egregious and unconscionable deviations of care exhibited by Murray but again some major assumptions are made.  As Dr. Shaffer gives what amounts to a closing statement, he gives opinions on evidence that in no way matches what is been proven as fact.   I have never before witnessed a judge just letting a witness run off at the mouth like that and even though I believe about three quarters of Shaffer’s testimony seemed bipartisan, the last quarter seemed to be directed at attacking Murray on assumptions not proven as fact.

Court Adjourns for the day.

I will give that Dr. Shaffer is most probably going by information that was given to him and may believe, thanks to witness coaching by the prosecution, that Murray’s inventory of Propofol was meant entirely for Michael.  I do not believe this is true but I await the defense presentation on this issue.

In point, Shaffer gives his opinion on the amounts of Propofol given to Michael Jackson, again ASSUMING that all the Propofol ordered by Murray was used on Michael Jackson.  And there is no proof that all 4,8 gallons of Propofol ordered by Murray went into Michael’s system.  No objection was raised, which if I was Murray’s defense I would have raised objections that that information.

It seems the defense wants to just let some statements go instead of objecting to these amounts.  Murray (allegedly) had three clinics (even though investigators outside this trial have found other information to the contrary), and Murray’s wife also ran her practice (allegedly) out of the same building which is information I myself found.

It will be interesting to see the defenses side of this once the prosecution rests and the defense begins presenting its case.

Mr. Michael . . . how do you stand this?  Just my personal feelings but I want to get up and just shake people when I see them NOT doing what I think they should be doing.

I lost a bit of respect for Shaffer as I listened to his impassioned, “Grammy-like” speech on his opinions, the Hippocratic oath, love, duty, country or whatever else he included in that lengthy diatribe. 

This is the Hippocratic Oath (in part):


I swear by Apollo, the healer, Asclepius, Hygieia, and Panacea, and I take to witness all the gods, all the goddesses, to keep according to my ability and my judgment, the following Oath and agreement:

To consider dear to me, as my parents, him who taught me this art; to live in common with him and, if necessary, to share my goods with him; To look upon his children as my own brothers, to teach them this art.

I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone.

I will not give a lethal drug to anyone if I am asked, nor will I advise such a plan; and similarly I will not give a woman a pessary to cause an abortion.
But I will preserve the purity of my life and my arts.

I will not cut for stone, even for patients in whom the disease is manifest; I will leave this operation to be performed by practitioners, specialists in this art.

In every house where I come I will enter only for the good of my patients, keeping myself far from all intentional ill-doing and all seduction and especially from the pleasures of love with women or with men, be they free or slaves.

All that may come to my knowledge in the exercise of my profession or in daily commerce with men, which ought not to be spread abroad, I will keep secret and will never reveal.

If I keep this oath faithfully, may I enjoy my life and practice my art, respected by all men and in all times; but if I swerve from it or violate it, may the reverse be my lot.”  Source

Background of the Hippocratic Oath

(Looking this up the original forbid abortions as this was not in the best interest of the patient or the patient to be – they considered it a crime).

The original text of the Hippocratic Oath is usually interpreted as one of the first statements of a moral of conduct to be used by physicians, assuming the respect for all human life. Christian tradition usually interprets the original Hippocratic Oath as a condemnation of abortion. The support for this interpretation is founded upon the phrase, "...μοίως δ οδ γυναικ πεσσν φθόριον δώσω",[9] in the original text of the Hippocratic Oath. An English translation reads, "similarly I will not give a woman a pessary to cause an abortion."[10] The historical context of reference to abortion in the Hippocratic Oath is open for different interpretations.  Howard Herrell states that:

Other parts of the Corpus Hippocratum discuss abortion techniques. But what does this prove? As many have pointed out, virtually every principle expounded in the Oath is elsewhere contradicted in the Corpus Hippocratum. Might there be a reason that the techniques of abortion are delineated, yet abortion is prohibited? Pliny the Elder's Natural History from the 1st century BC lists several compounds and methods known to cause abortion (Nardi, 1971). But Pliny was clearly opposed to abortion. He characterizes abortions as scelera or crimes (XXVIII, 7) and says that it makes humans worse than beasts (X, 63). When he discusses raven's eggs in XXX, 14, he clearly demonstrates that his purpose in discussing their abortifacient ability is to warn pregnant women to avoid them. So it is conceivable that the descriptions of abortion methods in the Corpus Hippocratum were provided for the sake of knowledge, more than for the sake of describing a potential procedure. Thus, the presence of information on abortions in the Corpus Hippocratum does not in and of itself contradict the Oath.”  Source

We have heard for the last two years waiting for this trial to materialize (Let them all materialize???), about how hard it was going to be to get a conviction, that people didn’t like convicting doctors, that people looked at them as lifesavers.  It has been my experience that it is even harder to find doctors willing to condemn one of their own . . . it’s like the police force.  It leaves them all wide open for malpractice should anything similar ever happen.

In my experience, when I had a botched surgery, I couldn’t even get a lawyer in my state to go after the doctor that botched it, only because I hadn’t died (almost doesn’t count).  So to see this succession of doctors eviscerating Murray on information that is not even proven leads me to believe that someone bigger is being protected.  Doctors never go for the throat of another and considering that most of these doctors are state-paid witnesses (except for Dr. Shaffer) and are witnesses for the same state that had it in for Michael Jackson, I’m sorry but I’m just a little suspicious.

They should finish up with Dr. Shaffer some time tomorrow with the defense cross examination to take up the rest of Thursday and Friday.

I have a lot of information for you, expanding on what we covered Thursday, Friday, Sunday and Monday (and Tuesday) and some Biblical significance to history.  I will try and work on some of that tonight.

In the meantime, Micheline requested this for tonight and I kind of miss it too.
Advice for Freedom (I renamed it)

God Bless you and Goodnight


  1. Hi, Bonnie - just a quick entry to thank you for the "One More Chance Video" (always cry watching it) and "Advice For Dreamers" (cried for that one, too). Between having my internet down for ten days, finishing Jermaine's book, which was the most intimately beautiful account of love that only a brother could have written, and the special little project I was working on, it's been a bit of a rough ride lately. Thanks for keeping me up to date on the trial, because without you I would have missed everything. It's now 12:20am, so I will go to bed early for a change - about 30 minutes earlier than usual! Night, Bonnie - love you! Night, Michael - love you more each day!

  2. @spotlight - You are welcome on both. Love One More Chance. I just wish he could have finished it HIS way. (Maybe he did!)

    Your special little project will debut here this weekend. Going to bed too. Uh, what did I want to tell you? Oh yeah! Remember . . . the California seal has 31 stars.

    Michael's name is Michael JOE Jackson. Jermaine was adamant about that in his book.
    and . . . we don't have a body, or at least evidence of one. Photoshop pics don't count.

    And here are some contributions from email tonight:

    HOpe sent: "pariisjaxn It Took Me A While To Figure Who "They" Are In "They Don't Care About Us," But I Found Out Like 3 Years Ago…… RT If You Know What It Means…… about 10 hours ago"

    From Diane:
    Who is that chap sat behing Walgren? has he got that tie on that Murray wore and someone else wore?

    The state could wrap up its case today, which opens the door for Dr. Conrad Murray's attorneys to begin their defense. Some of their witnesses may include a police officer who was on the scene the day Michael Jackson died, their OWN propofol expert and one witness who could really shake things up.
    Karen Faye was Michael Jackson's longtime makeup artist and one of the few people allowed in his bedroom. She has said in pre-trial hearings that Michael Jackson was not ready to do a show.

    (ROFL at Karen Faye!! Bet Michael's flattered! LOL!)

    Last TeddyRiley


    This whole f-ing country is staged which is why I'm here alot, Madonna and many artist are where they are for that so reason. Look at all thats going on in this country. Pls yall I don't wanna be in the media again. I don't want publicity for this. I hate media with a passion!!! If they only know how to tell the truth all the time this would be a better country. Enough said!!!

  3. Hi Bonnie. This whole trial feels like a sick joke. The faked photos. And like that wasn't enough, lets put a face on his chest. Who did that, Dr.Rogers? I guess you have to have a sense of humour when you dealing with dead body's every day. How can we take this trial seriously when they show us fake photos? If the photos are fake, maybe the autopsy report is to, who knows? Jails are overcrowded. Should we laugh or cry? OVERCROWDED!! If Dr.Murray is guilty he will only do 2 years. And he will do it Lindsey Lohan style. Chill out at home!! Maybe also have party's like she did. Susanne

  4. Hi Bonnie. In one of your posts you write, "Sony - What more can we take?" That was a good one, he he. Isn't that the mentality of most people today. It's all about the money. Those who have most money when they die win the game of life. It so sad. God must be crying in heaven. Susanne

  5. Uh, uh, uh, a haircut? Ok. FLANAGAN: Mr.Wahlgren you got a haircut the other day, DIDN'T YOU? Susanne

  6. Susanne said - "And like that wasn't enough, lets put a face on his chest. Who did that, Dr.Rogers?"

    .......... I don't know. I didn't see a face on his chest. I don't think the trial is a sick joke. I think we are supposed to find answers in it. Just don't get discouraged, okay? Look at it this way: The sense of humor in some of this stuff is definitely Michael-ish, but it's serious too. It's a shame, he should not have had to go through this to wake people up.

    I will lay you odds that God cries in Heaven every day, but he knows the truth and he wants everyone he knows will come to him, so we have to hold on for them, and not be selfish - be willing to do for them what Christ did for us.

    Funny on the haircut. That was just my observation. :o)

  7. It's really sad but it's common knowledge that an artist isn't really appreciated until his death.

    I've told you before that when I heard Michael on the radio my heart leaped but I was never one to follow closely. I prayed during the trials because I knew he HAD to be innocent. I couldn't believe the things that I heard or saw that filtered their way into my existence. When I heard on the radio that he'd died, I felt that this couldn't be happening! But, as we know, are bodies all have to die at some point and that is a fact that has to be accepted. (I didn't know the circumstances of he death were so questionable at the time.)

    "This Is It" played in our town's theater and beckoned to me then but I didn't go. When it came out in DVD, I rented it while my husband was out of town. That's when I fell apart. I couldn't understand why this affected me so - there was something more than just a performer here. I walked and talked with God - asking WHO or WHAT was he really? God told me Michael had something to teach me and I needed to pay attention. That's when I started searching out all things Michael. I guess I've become fanatical? We are all here for the same reason. Our stories are different but we've been joined because of a very special servant of God. Michael,like in your "Two Birds", we hear His song in your's - AND SEE HIM IN YOU!

    Thank you, Michael, and God bless you!!! Wherever you are, I know God has got you in His hands!

    Bonnie, thank you too for following your calling by doing all this research and compiling it into this blog. A lot of us aren't able to do what you do and I'm sure I speak for all of us - Thank you and may God continue to bless you and keep you and your family.

    With continued prayers, watching and waiting!

  8. Hi Bonnie. I like Dr.Shaffer. He seems genuine and professional. If I would have to be put under by propofol at a hospital I would like Dr.Shaffer to be by my side. Susanne

  9. /I find ir interesting [and amazing/comforting a bit] that many of you seem certain of what this 'trial' is about. I remain hopeful....
    Peace & Blessings

  10. I thought it was odd that Shafer used the term 'retch' (only once) when talking about aspiration and vomit.

  11. "Shaffer states that administration of Propofol is not limited to anesthesiologists but they all have to follow the same protocol."

    Another confirmation on medical standards of care. Thank you Bonnie for this excellent report : a bad time for your husband this trial :o( But by watching too "One More Chance" & an Arvizos' pic shown here with people who witnessed against Michael in 2005, even faked it is difficult not to cringe. Suzanne said earlier that C. Murray may get max. 2 years, which is very possible but even less or none, the Justice will consider having made its job when in fact, before Murray many did contribute to send Michael where he now is & most of the bad guys (even out of the Arvizos) now get on nicely with their life, undisturbed by the press & unpunished by the Justice. The Arvizo brothers were under-age in 2005 but still, it looks like a spider's web of old nuisances forming & teaming again !

  12. BLAKE said "Our stories are different but we've been joined because of a very special servant of God."

    This sentence & your whole comment are very nice, Blake.

  13. @Blake -
    I was not a fan, just an appreciator of his songs WHEN I heard them. I owned nothing that Michael Jackson created and I didn't follow him either.

    It was weird the first time I heard that he died. It was also over the radio and I was driving. Maybe that's why I couldn't do anything right away. But it was like the world was this kaleidoscope that just got twisted a little bit out of focus. I felt this pressure or hit on my chest, the lack of air for a second and THAT feeling, like gears somewhere inside disengaged. I will never forget that feeling. I drove the rest of the way home just shaking my head. I don't think I shed my first tear until I heard that first video, one of his depositions where he was talking about God and Jesus. But I remember the first words in my head when they said "Michael Jackson, dead at age 50" and that was, "This isn't real".

    I thank God for giving me this calling even though I complain about the elements in it occasionally. This taught me so much, the biggest being, find that truth that has always been in that book he always read . . . the Bible.

  14. Susanne said - "I like Dr.Shaffer. He seems genuine and professional. If I would have to be put under by propofol at a hospital I would like Dr.Shaffer to be by my side."

    .......... I liked him through most of the testimony, but he sounded a bit rehearsed when he did that big speech at the end.

    Anonymous said - "I find ir interesting [and amazing/comforting a bit] that many of you seem certain of what this 'trial' is about. I remain hopeful...."

    ........ I remain hopeful that we do too. :o) But I also do not believe this is the end of it. This is what I believe will be the crowbar that lifts the lid off of everything else that was going on.

    Truth said - "thought it was odd that Shafer used the term 'retch' (only once) when talking about aspiration and vomit. "

    ........ That was weird. That and the use of the term "Pharmacological Never-Neverland" which made no sense in the context he used it . . . unless . . . That's exactly where Michael was. Part of the Illusion? What was it that Chopra said that Michael wanted to go and come back again?

  15. Breaking news : Mohammar Ghaddafi is dead. WHY AGAIN does the press show the pic of a dead man, like a trophy animal ? it is so indecent !!! ..whatever people may or not like Ghaddafi.

  16. With Dr. Shaffer testimony, I felt like I am in medical school learning about pharmaceutical medicines and their interaction in our body. Very interesting. I have enjoined this testimony immensely. I still don’t like medicines though.

  17. Line said - "WHY AGAIN does the press show the pic of a dead man, like a trophy animal ? it is so indecent !!!"

    ........ My mother and I just got into a disagreement about that. I guess anyone that disagrees with Rothschild gets knocked off. I don't like Ghaddafi either, but we have NO BUSINESS over there being the banker's assassins, which is EXACTLY what our government has been used for!

    @Mimi -
    I feel the same way. I will know Propofol backward and forward by the end of this trial. I will be able to arrange MY OWN autopsy (hopefully not while it's in progress) and I will know what to test, what concentrations do what, and what privacy and government intervention into my medical records for the purpose of medical license renewals is at risk of exposure . . . .

    (pant, pant, pant . . . Geesh!)

  18. @ Line - so now we've assassinated Ghaddafi too? Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya...when does it end?!? Not for awhile yet I suppose but I think Iran will put up a good fight defending their country, hopefully.

  19. @ Bonnie - I wonder what Jermaine thought of "Never Neverland" and "retch".

    Shafer is quite the gesturer, clarifying his explanations visually.

    "what privacy and government intervention into my medical records for the purpose of medical license renewals is at risk of exposure . . ."

    Disturbing stuff coming to light. No wonder Michael was resistant to divulging his medical history. Good for him!

  20. @Truthbtold -

    The only doctors that were NOT animated were Cooper and Kamangar. Cooper I thought NEEDED reviving right there on the stand, and Kamangar reminds me of an insecure psychologist my mother used to work with years ago. Whiney, a bit on the self-indulgent side, definitely acted like a paid witness and all of these doctors thus far seemed abnormally willing to convict Murray and you just don't see that in the medical community, doctors so ready to condemn one of their own. Very, very seldom do you see this.

    Revelation 17:13
    These have one mind, and shall give their power and strength unto the beast.

    I think they gave Cooper a bit too much Sodium Amytol before she took to the stand.

  21. @Truthbtold - Yes, I forgot to mention this before I hit "post" . . . government involvement into our personal lives, medical lives, etc.... Since it seems we are moving toward a world Data bank of personal medical and shot records, thanks to Bill Gates of Micro-sucks.

  22. Bonnie said, “Shaffer gives his opinion on the amounts of Propofol given to Michael Jackson, again ASSUMING that all the Propofol ordered by Murray was used on Michael Jackson. And there is no proof that all 4,8 gallons of Propofol ordered by Murray went into Michael’s system.”

    I thought Dr. Shaffer is confirming the 4.8 gallons purchased from the pharmacy report he examined but not actually implying “all the propofol ordered went into Michael’s system.” I need to listen this part again.

  23. Hello Bonnie. I think it's amazing that there is so many of us that didn't know how much MJ meant to us until he died. I can't call myself a fan. A fan to me is someone who has everything MJ. Who went to all his concerts, who wanted to marry him, who wanted his autograph, standing outside his hotell and all that stuff. I never did that so I don't know what to call myself when it comes to MJ. But I think all of us who like or love MJ understood his heart and we can relate to him because we are from the same planet so to speak. So when he died a part of us died to. Its was almost like, NOW WHAT? Susanne

  24. Bonnie you are very right when you said “Doctors never go for the throat of another.” I am sure all of us have an experience trying to inform what other doctors did to us to another doctors and we are completely ignored with no comments at all about our compliant of other doctors. In my opinion why these doctors who came to testify were condemning Dr. Murray one by one is to save their own reputation and make themselves that they are so professional and make no mistake as such because this case is on the face of international stage. Also now it is becoming so important to condemn this one doctor so people will not lose confidence and become suspicious to other doctors including themselves.

  25. Hi Bonnie. What if we could read Dr.Murray's thoughts. Wouldn't that be something. I wonder who erased the tapes. We will never know I guess. Susanne

  26. @Spotlight thanks for requesting that 'Advice for dreamers' video. ( Advice for freedom as Bonnie renamed it :-)......) The powerful message is that Michael is SO successful, he has achieved so much, so talented, so loved by his fans, yet he remains humble, and tells us that humility is important. When he says it, it carries weight.
    @Blake I also like what you wrote about when you heard the news about Michael's death. Also you @Bonnie, I had read your experience of hearing the news on one of your early blog posts on here.:-)
    Regardless of people's 'interpretations' of what makes a person a 'true fan', how long you have loved him, whether or not you have seen him in concert, have a room full of memorabilia, to me, are THESE things alone what constitutes a fan?
    Michael loves us all equally regardless of when we came to love him. If you love him now, thats good enough.....
    Thanks again Bonnie, always love reading your blog...hope this can post this time :-)

  27. Mimi said - "I thought Dr. Shaffer is confirming the 4.8 gallons purchased from the pharmacy report he examined but not actually implying “all the propofol ordered went into Michael’s system.” I need to listen this part again."

    ........... He didn't say flat out, sorry. He IMPLIED. It was a suggestion he put out there a number of times. So did Kamangar and Steinberg. This is going to bite them when the defense comes up. Will make them look vidictive.

    Susanne said - "I think it's amazing that there is so many of us that didn't know how much MJ meant to us until he died."

    ......... Shhhhh! Don't say that too loud, he might here you. (smiling) Actually I think there is more too it than that. We aren't THIS MOVED by EVERY artist we lose. There is something much bigger behind Michael and the reason he moves us. Michael was humbly accepting of his mission and I so want to be that obedient (to God of course). I really believe that is what draws all of us to him even if some don't recognize yet what exactly it is . . . they will come to find out too.

    Mimi said - "In my opinion why these doctors who came to testify were condemning Dr. Murray one by one is to save their own reputation and make themselves that they are so professional and make no mistake as such because this case is on the face of international stage. "

    .......... there is that, but then there is also a bigger power behind them as well. Doctors have to depend on the medical boards of their states to renew their licenses. A couple of these doctors are pretty high up in their profession and much like the high level politician, Doctors are just as susceptible to temptation, manipulation and control. And they usually have less time to fight that control than most other professions.

  28. @Susanne -

    I wish I could spell. I can't believe I continuously get "hear" and "here" mixed up but I spell electroencephalogram the first time typing it today WITHOUT SPELL CHECK!

    Unbelievable. I'm weird!

    Susanne said - "What if we could read Dr.Murray's thoughts. Wouldn't that be something. I wonder who erased the tapes. "

    ......... I'll take a stab at it -

    Murray - "I'm sleepy, sleepy, sleepy" .. . and later one during one of the mini-conferences between the opposing attorneys, "Hey! What did he say? You didn't invite me? You were talking about me weren't you? Come-on! Let me in on it! It's about me, I know it!"

    I don't know who erased the tapes, but I will bet you there are copies somewhere.

    Jenny said - "Michael loves us all equally regardless of when we came to love him. If you love him now, thats good enough.....
    Thanks again Bonnie, always love reading your blog..."

    ...... Aww, Jenny that is so sweet what you said about Michael. I know he has to be crying about what is going on in Libya right now (I have pictures . . . horrifying) He loves all people and I love how his notes, songs, speeches practically walk people through the Bible. I have some new discoveries along those lines too. Michael liked to use the term "Musical Prophet". David was very musical too and Michael? Musical Prophet indeed!

  29. TRUTHBTOLD said : " so now we've assassinated Ghaddafi too?"

    OK Ghaddafi was a tyran of his sort but since the NATO forces got him, as we know it was all for greed from Western governements on the oil countries, not their compassion for the oppressed local people. Should war come with Iran, we might all hide in holes, I think !

  30. Bonnie said: "government involvement into our personal lives, medical lives, etc.... Since it seems we are moving toward a world Data bank of personal medical and shot records, thanks to Bill Gates of Micro-sucks."

    I trust you will cover this in depth in the future.

    Yes, Bill Gates and the agenda to vaccinate the world. Have you seen the commercials on TV trying to pull our heartstrings using sick little African children to get money out of us to vaccinate them? (I know, they have been using them for many decades, syphoning our money to destroy their culture!) Imagine me screaming at the TV "Get out of their villages and leave them alone!" What is confusing for me is the latest ones are supposedly for tetanus. Tetanus...really? Did all those babies step on a rusty nail?

    A little brain excersize to hopefully help with "hear" & "here" -
    hear with ear;
    here and there.
    Does that help? I must have had it drilled in at school for the words that can only be memorized, something they actually did right.

    You're no weirder than I am! LOL

    "There is something much bigger behind Michael and the reason he moves us."

    I found that really comforting, Bonnie. Thank you. My mother, whom I was very close to, died around the same time as Michael. At the time, I was a mess over Michael's death, couldn't explain why it hit me harder and deeper than losing my mom. Different grieving processes. Michael's death compelled me to dig, obsessively, for answers. Smart man!

    @ Jenny - thank you from me too, that was nice.

  31. Line said - "as we know it was all for greed from Western governements on the oil countries, not their compassion for the oppressed local people."

    ......... I just wish our own military would just lay down there weapons and just say "enough. No more." LIke I said, I have pictures of how "compassionate" Nato's troops are! The mass burials and lime pits have not changed since 1942.

  32. Truth said - "I trust you will cover this in depth in the future."

    ....... You probably know more about this than I do, but yes, we will be going back to Agenda 21 and Gates intro program to the mark of the beast.

    Tetanus, Yeah I wonder what else they'll be injecting into them! Population control, remember? They have no interest in helping these children. ADD doesn't exist over there . . . YET! (Lord, don't get me started!!!)

    ROFL, Truth I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE between "hear" and "here", I just don't see it for some reason when I go to edit! It's the same thing when I type "the" for "they" and "think" for "thing" and visa versa. Drives me nuts.

    Me too with my grandfather. He died that January and right in between the two blizzards on the east coast is when we had his funeral (Philadelphia). It snowed at my grandmother's funeral, my great grandmother also had a blizzard during her funeral and it was rain at my great grandfather's funeral. (Geeze, people! Guess it's a Stafford thing!) Anyhow, I let out one good cry for my grandfather (I was coming home from visiting him when he died, driving out of Mount Jackson, VA. with "Man in the Mirror" on the radio and my new "Man in the Mirror" Michael Jackson picture book on the front seat beside me. THAT was weird!

    I'm sorry you lost your mom, Truth.♥♥♥

  33. Hello Bonnie. Don't you worry about that. I get the whole English language mixed up. Sweet & Sweat. "Sweat dreams" may not be a kind thing to tell somebody. If you are weird what does it make me? Weirder I guess, ha ha Susanne


    Oops, sorry Bonnie but glad you got a laugh! :oD

    Thank you. ♥ Time heals some things. At least I don't pick up the phone anymore to ring her. Still miss her lots though.

  35. Susanne said - "If you are weird what does it make me? "

    LOL, I dare not answer that question. Not my responsibility Hee-hee! ♥♥♥

  36. @Truth - I miss my grandfather too. He and my grandmother were this last feeble chain I had connecting me to childhood ie - they encouraged me to have one. My grandmother was magical. My grandfather slipped back into gambling I think, when my grandmother passed. She kept him from the brink. I think he was angry at losing her. When he called my mother and told her he was ready to leave the apartment and come live with her, Mom found that he was months behind in some of his bills, none of his credit cards had been paid in months and he had no life insurance policies . . .he had cashed them all in and had no money to show for it. She and two of his sisters had to pay to bury him. All he had was a plot next to grandmom and the headstone pre-paid from back when she died. Then his body had to be transported from Tennessee to Pennsylvania in the snow storms. He deserved better than that. But he's resting now and I did what Jesus told me to do in my dream and I told him one last time "Jesus told me to tell you I saw him", thanks to our church in Maryland. They made it possible for me to get down to see him before he died.


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