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Michael Jackson Justice: Day 5 Michael Jackson Conrad Murray Trial

God: Reconnect to Him

The Conspiracy against God is about "The Word", and the profaning of His Holy Name within us. Adam fell in the garden, breaking the direct connection to God. Jesus, the "last Adam" was a quickening Spirit, the Word made Flesh, and the only one with whom we can re-establish our relationship with God. Michael's story is still unfolding. He is the one who is, is not. But Jesus is the only name given under heaven by which we must be saved. Many are trying to rewrite HIStory. We were given a help to instruct us. Learn more "here".

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Day 5 Michael Jackson Conrad Murray Trial

Day 5 Michael Jackson Conrad Murray Trial
Monday Butterflies

Judges 9:15
And the bramble said unto the trees, If in truth ye anoint me king over you, then come and put your trust in my shadow: and if not, let fire come out of the bramble, and devour the cedars of Lebanon.

“If you will take my hand Baby
I will show you, guide you
To the light, babe…”

As I wait for the trial (late start today) to start, I listen to “Butterflies”, I hear another song of persuasion, he sings to his “wife” as he in yet another song asks for trust in leading her toward the right path.

Butterflies was one of those songs that I considered might possibly reference some of the mind control training that he may have been put through.  During his compiling the songs for “Invincible” he still very much had handlers around him that were for the most part trying keep him away from everyone who truly loved him, including God.  The merry-go-round of handlers failed.

Regardless of the underlying meaning (or not) of “Butterflies”, I am again astounded by the advice Jermaine gave in his book to listen to his songs.  The more I do, the more I see the parables in his music.

*********   Day 5 Trial for Dr. Conrad Murray   **************

Richelle Cooper is back on the stand.  Right before testimony started, HLN T.V. (I have both live feed and T.V. on now), Jane announced that both the O.J. trial and Phil Specter’s trial happened at that particular courthouse and I couldn’t help but make the comparison to the eyes on Phil Specter’s and how similar this Dr. Cooper had the same look.  As she is being questioned now, that look in her eyes has not changed.  She is either very, very tired or her irises have been taken over by her pupils.

Dr. Richelle Cooper’s Rather Sightless Eyes

Early in the testimony audio began quivering, as if voices of the Dr. were wavering, then Walgren’s voice was wavering.  This may have been an audio problem but it seemed to later correct itself.

I also notice that the glass behind one of the officers of the court, the one to Murray’s left.  The glass reflects something different than what is in front of it, which is that officer and parts of th

Look at Reflections Compared to Present Facing Images

Same Video Tricks?

She seemed embarrassed to explain that a condom catheter would be unusual for a 50 year old male, but is common for someone who is going into surgery or who suffered from incontinence.  She kind of rolled her eyes on this question – the first hint of a personality.

She did not have conversation with Murray on Death Certificate.  She did go to the children.  She said the children were hysterical and crying, with someone described as their nurse.  No one either on cross or direct asked who this was.

Flanagan cross examines.

Flanagan stumps the doctor on questions of why she didn’t call it if she had control of taking over and that the patient’s condition in the field did not change once they got to the hospital.

She testifies that she needs certification at UCLA to use Propofol for procedural sedation but is not an anesthesiologist.

She says 25 milligrams of Propofol with Lidocaine would not produce any level of sedation for a male the size of Michael.  If there were any sedation achieved it would only be 7 to 10 minutes and with no other drugs in the system.

Flanagan reiterated by asking if this was with a total of 4 milligrams of Lorazapam and the 25 milligrams Propofol.  She said she wanted the info on meds and medical history to determine treatment even though she testified that he had been dead for some time.

Dr. Cooper is getting irritated and a bit defensive when asked why she didn’t ask about the time that Murray gave medications.  But Flanagan is even getting on my nerves with the repeated questions asking for the same info.

She testifies to a milligram per kilogram of weight.  For Michael that would be 60 milligrams and she testified he would be under for about ten minutes.

Good question from Flanaghan – He asks Cooper if she had known about the Propofol would she have changed the way she treated Michael or would it have changed the outcome . . . she said no, that when he arrived he was already clinically dead.  But she also brought up a good point that she didn’t KNOW what had been given until she asked.

Dr. Murray’s face looks a little more alive today.  Just an observation.  Funny I saw a tweet from TMZ that posted a link to a story about Murray falling asleep in the court room.  I did not see this but I clicked the link and it took me to a 404 page.  I immediately thought of Brian Oxman at the 2005 trial and thought to myself, “Gee, can’t fire Murray . . .”

She does not recall taking Michael’s temperature. She said it would be a rectal temperature (patient unconscious), but it would not tell cause of death.  Could possibly assist on TIME of death which would have been helpful, but hopefully the coroner will give us that information, IF they let HIM testify.

UCLA says 20 minutes of resuscitation and if no change, they are authorized to call the time of death.  She applied an hour and thirteen minutes.  Flanagan asked if that was because it was Michael Jackson.  She said no.

She said Michael was the first time she authorized paramedics to call time of death and the paramedics ask to continue treatment.

Murray had a separate conversation with Dr. Cruze about using Aortic balloon pump.

Walgren recross

He asks her to read her notes on Michael after they called the death.  He again reviewed what She asked Murray (what happened) and what Murray replied.  Walgren asked if she administered Propofol, would they would have the necessary equipment to monitor the patient.  Of course that is a yes.

Flanaghan recross (again).

He reviewed what Cooper’s starting dose of Propofol would be for Michael’s body weight.  Flanagan reiterates her testimony that 25 milligrams would not typical put someone the size of Michael under sedation.  (HLN T.V. stated Michael was 150 pounds. This is not in the testimony so HLN needs to get their crap together).

Cooper’s response to questions about giving Propofol in bolus push was that they would monitor and make sure as she may not need to use the whole dose of 1 milligram per 1 kilogram of body weight.  I.V. drip was most common administration for this reason.

Cooper explains she would administer and monitor Propofol and another attending would be doing the procedure.  Cooper explains that she would get information to make sure no allergic or other reaction would cause problems.  She has not seen “other problems” in her practice crop up for procedural sedation.  She also explains very well why monitoring equipment is critical.

Flanaghan asks if monitoring equipment would be needed to determine if a patient stops breathing . . . I can see where he wants to go with this questioning but the judge and prosecution will not let him.  I think it would have been fair for him to ask the doctor if it is possible to tell if a person is not breathing without being hooked up.  I think that is a fair question and should have been allowed to be entered.

Twenty minute break

Brazil (prosecution) calls Edward Dixon

AT&T – Telecommunications.  He is a senior sales support engineer.  Prepared cell phone records.  Here is where it gets a bit tedious but interesting.

P51 73 page document – phone records 702-862-0793 for Conrad Murray (was 703 area code)

The AT&T Phone Record Exhibit 51

Sprint Phone Record Exhibit 52

Account was opened 1-28-2009
Status on June 25th 09 – active
Pg 21 of exhibt 51 (phone records)

11:07 – 619-994-3233 – to Murray 1 minute
11:18  702-862-0793 – 32 minutes
11:49 am 702-808-4989 3 minutes
11:51am   832-366-3832  11 minutes

12:12 pm  562-881-2570 1 minute
12:15 pm from above to murray 1 minute

3:38pm 310-310 – 8070
4:31 pm 8070 1 minute

 5:02  1 minute

I have the phone records on AT&T above that are calls TO MURRAY marked as such as was testified to by Dixon.  I marked two calls in red.  At 11:18, Murray called  a number and was on the call for 32 minutes.  If this is true this would take him to 11:50, but there is a call logged at 11:49 AM.  There is a minute overlap.  How did this happen for outgoing calls?  Also the call made at 11:49 (while he was still on the call from 11:18) for 3 minutes would have taken us to 11:52 not 11:51. 

The overlap could be explained by AT&T rounding up of the minutes, but on both calls back to back?

Page 66 of AT&T document exhibit 51 represents data sent – Information sent to the mobile and use type. 

Data usage for June 25th 2009

Push data to server or Pull notification where user of the phone gets information sent to him either automatically or by pushing a button . . . information sent on set time?  Sounds like Murray had information timed to be sent to him from one phone to the other at approximately 1 hour intervals.

AT&T Phone Record June 25th

8:54pm last time data pulled
Next page all the way down to 4:03 pm

This is the next page of AT&T Exhibit 51

Brazil – no further questions.  I was very surprised she did not go over these calls in detail but they may be saved for questioning Murray??? Hopefully?

Gordjian cross examination

Who was actually using phone on that date?  Can’t tell.

Gordjian asks to approach the bench before presenting Prosecution’s exhibit 52.

Murray’s Sprint Phone Record Exhibit 52

Gordjian asks about a certain phone call but Dixon says that that form (above) identifies another person’s phone records.  This is NOT AT&T records.

Dixon says that the call to Murray would be reflected on Murray’s records.  Gordjian asks Dixon to identify the call from Bridget on the AT&T exhibit 51 phone records of Murray. 

(What???? Gordjian moves to another line of questioning before Dixon finds the phone number??? WTH?)  Dixon asks him another question and I start to loose it on Twitter but then Gordjian moves back to asking Dixon to locate the corresponding call on the AT&T records from the Sprint account.

Okay Dixon finally asks him to look for that call on exhibit 51 AT&T Murray records.  Dixon said he would not be able to tell but could look at call duration.  Incoming call doesn’t know if it went to voice mail and appears on pg 21.  1 minute.  Cannot tell if call was answered or went to voice mail.  (good job Gordjion).

This is the kind of follow up I would like to see Prosecution initiate.  Dixon had testified that he would be able to tell if a call went to voice mail from those documents but when Gordjian took him back to the AT&T document, he could not show where that would be determined on the record.

Brazil redirect:

Brazil asks about Exhibit 52 – The 3:38 call from Conrad number should be 3:58.  Brazil said it was a typographical error on an already submitted piece of evidence?  This shocked me.  This was supposed to be a Sprint phone record and the judge allows her to make this change and the defense accepts this?

Dixon is excused

Brazil calls Jeff Strohm.  He is employed for Sprint Nextel.

Custodian of records in legal compliance departments.  Has a 36 page document from Sprint Nextel records.

Strohm is the only witness I’ve seen who turns and speaks directly to the jury.

Last four phone number 3747 owned by Conrad Murray – Sprint Nextel and was active on June 25th 2009.

Compare info to call information to the Sprint Nextel phone records.

Example of routed phone call – bridge call makes a call to other routing numbers which is why there is two different durations recorded on the phone records. 

111 seconds??? Above Stacey’s number?

Gordjian cross examines, and shows exhibit 52 Sprint Records, shows the “corrected typo” that Brazil asked for earlier during Dixon’s testimony.

This is where Brazil changed the time

If this is Sprint’s records then how can Brazil make a typo error on the time?

Strohm is excused, Dr. Nguyen is called by Prosecution

Dr. Thao Nguyen is dressed for the night club. Whoa.  Latoya and Janet have fashion competition!

She works at UCLA as a doctor of cardiologist scientist (this is what she says). She is attending cardiologist at the hospital.

Sodium channel in electrical activity in the brain and muscles of the heart is her area of study.

In June 2009 she was fellowshipped at UCLA in critical care cardiology.  Daniel Cruz was her attending physician training her.

She was called into E.R. for MJ.  She is awfully jumpy and choppy in her testimony.  She said Cooper introduced her to Murray then she talked to Murray.  She saw the code.  She said Murray told her personally that he was Michael’s private physician.

She said Murray Jackson had been very tired, preparing for tour, had been asking for meds to help him sleep.  She asked Murray about meds Murray gave him and he told her Atavan or Lorazapam (4mg). She asked if there were other narcotics or sedatives.  Murray said no other drugs.

She said she asked him what happened next (she is being prompted by Walgren, did she not memorize the script or something?)  She said after prompting that Murray was not able to answer the time when he gave meds or when he stopped breathing or when he called 911.  She is stepped to each piece of info by Walgren.  Lord have mercy, She seems not able to understand what it is he is asking her and talks over the question.  There is also some confusion as to what exactly Walgren is asking her in regard to the time she asked Murray that he called 911 as opposed to when paramedics arrived.  

She said Murray never mentioned Propofol.  She said she called Cruz about Murray’s answers.  There is also some confusion as to who Nguyen actually got her answers from and which questions she got them to, from Dr. Cooper or Dr. Murray.  Cruz came down and talked to Murray.  Cruz asked if Murray felt a pulse and Murray said he felt pulse but neither she nor Cruz felt a pulse.  This was confusing as heck trying to get Nguyen to express exactly WHO Murray talked to about what and when.  She testifies as if she is the one who Murray was talking to when it was actually Dr. Cruz and Nguyen was just overhearing.

She said Murray thought they would be giving up easily (she is anticipating questions at this point.  She is anticipating questions about Murray?  Can objections be raised on this?)

She testifies that she felt Murray was being futile in asking for them to not give up.  This is highly suspect to me.  She offers that Murray said he had no concept of time and that he did not have a watch.  She is way over-answering questions and anticipating questions, embellishing with emotional additions and even the Judge has to tell her to just answer the questions. 

They break for afternoon lunch which I will assume will be an hour and a half.  And the way she is dressed, I can guess where she is going to lunch . . . Gothic Underground  (Is this the same lady in Smooth Criminal?).  Perhaps she will have time to treat both nostrils before coming back in.  (Sorry, but I am disgusted with the obvious coaching of this witness).

After break Walgren continues questions, bringing up the balloon pump.  Nguyen answered that they told Dr. Murray to prepare him that this would be the last attempt.  And she said they were trying to prepare Murray.

Flanaghan cross examines –

She was called around 1:35pm to the E.R. for MJ.

She answered that she first talked to Cooper but only to say hi.  (say hi???)  Said Cooper introduced her to Murray.

Said Cooper paged her that it was a VIP patient named Michael Jackson.  She asked Murray first instead of Cooper.  She said Murray was first source not Cooper.  She said that is the plan.

Flanagan asks her about her testimony about what Murray told her about Michael.  She said Murray answered negative to questions about Murray giving any narcotics.

She testifies that she did not know what Murray may have told Cooper before she got there.  Nguyen then testifies that she did not ask Murray when EMS arrived, just when he called EMS. Then she said she wasn’t sure what she testified to in the investigation report.

Flanagan asks to have Nguyen’s testimony stricken as she begins to ramble about a lifeless patient laying there which was not answering his questions.  She begins to say that Murray had no concept of time and that he didn’t have a watch.  This is irrelevant; Murray had TWO cell phones on him.

The judge allows testimony thus far, but asks her to just answer the question.  Flanagan asks then asks if 4 mgs of Atavan (Lorazapam) would normally be enough to put someone to sleep.  Five to seven minutes she answers for 2 mgs.  She said it depends on the drug tolerance.  She said they would sleep for 14 hours give or take 5 hours but it depends on condition of the host.  Would sleep through the night she says.

She then offers that she did not typically see people wake up to ask for more.  She said unless he had built up a tolerance.  (This constant reference to built up tolerances bothers me because it only helps the defense in their characterization of Michael as a drug addict).

She said Atavan would be in the system 12 hours after given through I.V.  as opposed orally.  The effect takes longer taken orally.  She is certified for Propofol.  She does use it.  (She keeps wanting to push information not asked for).

She is asked what does she observe to see that it is working.  She said when they stop responding to verbal stimuli  (What? No monitors to tell you?)  You never hear patient slurring speech on Propofol.  No slurred speech when they wake up either because it leaves the system as quickly in the onset.

She is asked about Murray’s demeanor. She said he acted desperate and looked devastated.  Murray said “don’t give up easily, please save his life.”  She was asked if she checked about the pulse and she agreed that she was told he hadn’t had a pulse.

She is asked about a pulse again and Flanagan asks “You wouldn’t typically use a balloon pump then would you”, and she agreed.  She said Murray did not touch the patient yet she said Murray told Dr. Cruze that he felt a pulse.  She learned from Cruze that Murray told him he found a pulse and not to give up on him.  She did not ask WHEN Murray felt a pulse.  She didn’t know.  She said seconds and minutes would matter.   Cruz’s idea to proceed with pump after hearing from Murray that he had found a pulse.

Flanaghan asks that there was no reason to do a balloon pump and Nygyn testified that they went by Murray’s pulse.  Her estimate is that they did the balloon pump 5 to 7 minutes after the agreement to put in the Balloon pump, and if it didn’t work they would call time of death.  Murray participated in agreement that he would let them call time of death after this last attempt.

The balloon pump was not Murray’s idea but his agreement was that he would agree to give up trying to save him.

She testified that she asked Murray if he had given anything to reverse the Lorazapam .  Flanagan asked what that would be and she said “Flumazenil” about 2 mgs.   

Flanagan asks about her comment of window of opportunity and how long that window would last.  She replies seconds  to minutes.  She then goes into a big long explanation of “what ifs” depending on health of certain organs of the patient.  Flanagan asks her the question again, she said seconds, right away.  Seconds to minutes.  She said 2 to three minutes after struggling to get an answer when Flanagan presses her to be more precise.

She is asked about 4mg’s and whether that would cause any complications and she said not typically especially if they had a tolerance to it.  I want to know why the prosecution’s witness is offering that the patient may have had a tolerance built up. She has done this throughout the defense’s cross examination.

Flanagan finishes his cross examination.

Redirect by Walgren

He asks what she would typically use Atavan for and she testified for administering procedures.  Propofol always in the hospital setting in a treatment or surgical room where crash cart and respiratory equipment, defibrillator etc….

Flanagan recrosses but his questioning suggest he wants to know if she has ever used it outside the hospital setting . . . this has already been stated that it should not be used outside the hospital setting and ONLY for procedures, not for sleep.  Flanagan attempts this three times to get her to describe how this would be used outside a hospital setting including using her dentist appointments as an example but the judge scraps that attempt.

Nguyen did say that it can be used in premed to sedate the patient before a procedure.



Back again, Nguyen also testified that with such a small amount of Propofol as Murrays said he used, it could be monitored visually.  But she reiterated that it is not proper outside hospital setting.

Walgren asked on recross if Propofol had ever been used in someone’s private bedroom, she said “that would be a first.

Prosecution calls Dr. Joanne Bednarzchad  She is an internal medicine physician in Houston

Brazil at that time wants to substitute the exhibit 52 (wrong phone record time on the Sprint calls and this is allowed.  Never saw this before, ever).

She is a hospital based physician, critically ill patients.

June 25th 2009.  She said she had to call Dr. Murray. She was called to the pre-op and patient had history of vascular disease.  She needed to know if the patient was ready for surgery.  She needed to know patient’s prior history.  Patient said previous procedure was performed by Dr. Murray.  He was on Plavax and this was a concern because of his cardiovascular disease.  Their concern was bleeding to clean a wound and what Plavax would do to effect that.

They were concerned about the anti-clotting property of Plavax and was it safe to take him off the medications so they could do the surgery.

She said she called Murray’s office and was given another number which led her to an answering machine.  Second attempt was successful.  He verified he was Murray.  Murray stated that the patient needed to stay on the medication to complete the six months and that it would be better to postpone the surgery.  About 12pm her time this call took place Bernard said.  Dr. Bed (for short) thought it was odd that Murray knew right off the bat that this patient needed to stay on the meds without looking at his chart.

Actual logged call on the Sprint Record

Chernoff Cross Examines.

He asks Dr. Bednarzchad about being impressed that Dr. Murray knew off the top of his head that he remembered the details of the patient to give her info right away. 

(Proves the sprint phone was his and it was him that was using it June 25th which shuts down Gordjian’s theories about someone else using Murray’s Sprint phone.)

Brazil does not recross and they ajourn for 15 minute break.  I found this odd that the prosecution seem to help the defense establish that Murray was intimately familiar with his patients.

Antoinette Gill is called by Prosecution

(Antoinette Gill on the stand. From Las Vegas, Nevada. Known Murray for over 10 years. Referred to him by a client. Is a patient of his.)

Is on the phone with Murray hours before Michael was in trouble.  She is dismissed.  Oh brother.  What was the purpose of this?

Direct by Brazil  for Consue Long (I missed the spelling of her name)

June 2009, worked in Murray’s office as of June 2005 – 2009 volunteered at Murray’s office, five days a week.

Duties:  filing, answering phones, up front, help in the back, taking vitals, pulse, heart rate.  She worked in Murray’s office in Vegas on Flamingo

Patient Robert Russell she is asked about.  Three other girls, Carol, Sarah and Leah who worked there.  Carol mostly handled the front, but would cover back.  Average age of patient is objected.

Murray’s clinic treats specifically heart problems.  Leah is back office answers calls, files and helping front.  Sarah same thing.  None of them are nurses.  Assistant administrator Miss Stacy, based in San Diego.  No nurses work in Vegas Office.  How did patients get treated?  An echo-tech would come in to perform readings and exams.  EPC therapy.  They would just log the information.

Murray did get the letter informing his patients of his upcoming sabbatical and it shows the letter we have all seen that he sent to his clinics.

She said Murray told her that he was going to be personal doctor for Michael Jackson before the letter went out.

Brazil asks if she was working there June 25, 2009.  Asked about unusual happenings.  When they got back she got a call from our biller and they told her that something happened to Michael Jackson.

Cross Exam by Chernoff

He begins asking her about procedures Murray would perform in the clinic and what was performed at the hospital.  When Murray saw patients it was a long day.  She said he took 15, 30 to 45 minutes with each patient.

She wanted to work with Murray because of the way he treated her grandmother.  Murray had a tendency to be friendly with his patients, knew about their family what church they went to.  She agreed his patients were attached to Murray.

Murray had saved Russell’s life.   She testified that Murray was trying find a competent doctor to take his place at the clinics.  Murray had to shut down his practice after that.

She is excused and Brigette Morgan is called.

Brazil Directs questioning.

He did not answer the phone when she called him.  She met Murray in 2003 in Vegas.  She testified to calling him a couple of times on June 25th 2009 but he did not answer his phone.

Chernoff asks how long she lived in L.A. and she said since 1998.  She is excused.

They adjourn for the day.

*************  End Trial Day  ***************

I do not yet know what the prosecution was doing during the last three witnesses but they gave more to the side of the defense then they did the prosecution.

Dr. Bednarzchad  ( I don’t know how to spell her name, she spelled too fast for me to type it) testifies to Murray’s ability to remember details of his patients, Dr. Nguyen testifies that although Murray did not give her information (that she didn’t ask for, but that Cooper had asked for), Murray was upset and begging them to save him.  This does not strike me as someone who pre-meditates the demise of someone.  It also strikes me as someone who possibly had no idea what happened after he left the room.

Did someone else enter this room while Murray was out?

I kept a better eye on Twitter today, but maybe it’s just me . . . but did it seem to you that today’s witnesses were not valuable to either side?  It almost seemed to me, if I didn’t know any better, I would think that today’s witnesses were planned  to be light on purpose – either for the premiere of that Cirque du Solei or they knew that Amanda Knox’s  verdict was going to overshadow the trial proceedings today.  Either way, it was rather strange, but we did catch some contradictions.

I am still puzzled by the phone records and how a “typo” on a Sprint Cell phone record could be “changed” to the correct time.  Someone tried to explain to me that this was actually Brazil’s record of Sprint’s record . . . but if that was the case, why didn’t AT&T’s record and Sprint’s record look the same and how would each of these record supervisors know which was their bill and explain each column if Brazil is the one that typed it up?

This reminds me very much of the tricks Sneddon tried to pull, trying to change evidence, only in THIS CASE there was no Tom Mesereau for Murray to say “Hey!  That ain’t right!”

Hopefully tomorrow’s testimony will be a little less trivial.

Jermaine’s book, “You Are Not Alone” . . . My favorite quote on this page, where Jermaine describes a backstage visit before his “Precious Moments” tour by Kevin Wilson and Marcus who were opening for him, Uncle Willey and Michael’s photographer Harrison.  Jermaine was preoccupied with getting ready but greeted the fan that Harrison introduced to Jermaine.  The man named Uncle Willy said to Jermaine “I’m a huge fan of your music”.  When Jermaine thanked him everyone burst out laughing . . .

’Jermaine’ said Harrison, ‘It’s Michael . . . Uncle Willy is Michael!’”

Jermaine did not even recognize his own brother.

There is a picture in the book.  I didn’t recognize him either when I looked at the photo, but when I covered up the eyebrows with my finger, I could see Michael in there.

On Page 285, the middle of the first paragraph to the end, Jermaine explains Michael hospitalized with a severe headache (welcome  to the club) and while Michael was waiting for the nurse to come back and fix the I.V. in his arm so it would stop burning, Jermaine noticed the books Michael had that he was reading . . . . “One about Marriage and divorce, the other about taxes.”   This was just an example of the varied knowledge Michael read about.  Considering this happened in 1990, it makes me wonder just what the deal was with Lisa Marie and if that whole thing was not planned.

I have more for you tomorrow on Jermaine’s book and of course, the trial.

God Bless you . . . and Keep the Faith!

Courage By Michael Jackson

Courage (written by Michael Jackson)

Its curious what takes courage and what doesn’t. When I step out on stage in front of thousands of people, I don’t feel that I’m being brave. It can take much more courage to express true feelings to one person. When I think of courage, I think of the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz. He was always running away from danger. He often cried and shook with fear. But he was also sharing his real feelings with those he loved, even though he didn’t always like those feelings

That takes real courage, the courage to be intimate. Expressing your feelings is not the same as falling apart in front of someone else — its being accepting and true to your heart, whatever it may say. When you have the courage to be intimate, you know who you are, and you’re willing to let others see that. Its scary, because you feel so vulnerable, so open to rejection. But without self-acceptance, the other kind of courage, the kind heroes show in movies, seems hollow.
In spite of the risks, the courage to be honest and intimate opens the way to self-discovery. It offers what we all want, the promise of love

**DANCING THE DREAM by Michael Jackson**


  1. Thank you for this. I read every word! I was not able to watch the trial today -- sounds like I did not miss too much. I'm not even sure how I got to your page, but I'll keep coming back for updates. :)

  2. @Sara - Well in that case I'm glad you found it. I watch every day and try to get all the conflicting evidences but I don't always catch them all .. . that's why I encourage others to add what I have missed.

  3. This was sent to me by someone who reads the blog but doesn't comment but to me in email. She has some good advice here:

    Have you been listening to the recaps and teasers for news shows on the trial? I keep hearing DR. Murray didn't tell the whole truth. The whole truth was not told by dr. Murray. Er docs didn't have the whole story. Etc. Unfair that er drs. Were not told everything. Information was withheld.....
    Dr. Murray lied....

    It just gave me pause tonight. Telling people that "the whole story is needed when determining an action and outcome". Not fair to with-hold info... So not fair to lie.

    So we have pay attention to details.. Cali seal and photoshop mj gurney Lesson 1
    Lesson 2 not fair to come conclusion without ALL the info or mis-information or lies.

    Are u seeing this or is it just me?

  4. Hi Bonnie. I think Dr.Cooper looks like Sarah Jessica Parker without makeup. I wonder if she is related to Alice Cooper. Susanne

  5. Bonnie said "I am still puzzled by the phone records and how a “typo” on a Sprint Cell phone record could be “changed” to the correct time."

    I didn't see the error, but I DID think 'wow those data records are clean'. The data is probably in some incomprehensible format in its raw state. Someone probably had to extract it into Word and tidy it up. I have been asked to do something similar with security records. The data of people entering the office was in a MS Access database, so not all nicely labeled and formatted. Some of the data was also irrelevant to determining who entered and at what time. So I only extracted the data that was relevant, and then 'tidied it up' so it was easier to read. Typically, time stamps also have a date attached so it will look like this :
    11/28/2008 17:00:00
    Often you are asked to remove the date and the seconds for clarity - this is where mistakes and deletions can happen - you delete the wrong figures and have to type it back in manually. I've done it. I know!

  6. Hi Bonnie. I read that there were footprints on Dr.Murray's phone display. Did he dial with his toes? Can it get any weirder? Must be a joke. Susanne

  7. Bonnie, my 1st impression after 1 week's trial & a not too brillant Prosecution : the Prosecution's witnessing parties seem to charge Conrad Murray heavily. But Justice = Truth. Coroners' report : Michael death caused by an ACUTE Propofol intoxication ; Murray adversely claims he was in NO WAY responsible for it. Here I do not address myself to the believers. But if Michael died, either C. Murray is a HUGE liar who desperately attempts to save his ... or someone else killed Michael, behind Murray's back. This last scenario NEEDS to be first explored by the Justice, although I am no supporter of Conrad Murray's Defense. No ambiguity ! I am curious about the Justice's probity next.

    Your Day 5 Trial report: Brillant, many thanks.

  8. Hi Bonnie. The media haven't mentioned the faked photo of MJ. How come? Are they blindfolded? I am sure 99.9 procent of MJ's fans have realized that the photo is a fake. Is it legal to show a faked photo of a diseased person in court? If they couldn't show the real photo for some reason, why show a photo at all? And is the family aware of it being a fake. The whole family didn't see his body after he died right? I can't take the trial seriously after seeing that photo. If the photo is a fake maybe the whole trial is a fake. Did they really expect us to believe that the photo was authentic? No human being have a wrist like that. They started the trial showing a faked picture of MJ to the Jury. What a good start. Does the Jury know that the photo is a fake? Nothing in this whole saga make any sense to me. I am sick of it. I mean what's the point of all of this? Susanne

  9. Follow-up (should Murray be innocent): Who had KEYS'access to Holmby Hills ? i.e. could it be that, either some working authorized employees or even past employees who might have unduly kept keys after quitting, further gave the residence's access to a criminal on 06.25.2009 ? A question for the Investigation, I admit.

  10. Hi Bonnie!

    Thank you so much for all the time you put into your work for Michael. I am so grateful for your insight and encouragement, and for the others that send in their comments.

    I have some encouragement for you. I had never seen this before - of Michael helping Jermaine when his microphone stopped working at the Motown 25 performance. Here is the link - you can start watching at 6:35

    I love, love, love, the look in Michael and Jermaine's eyes as they help each other out and sing together. I certainly have a different view of Jermaine in the last several weeks :)

    Thank you again --

  11. Bonnie,How bizarre! I happened to look at the site for the tribute concert and saw a contest to win tickets.Text to win...Question:What is Michael's first solo album? A)Thriller B)Got To Be There
    C)Dangerous How is anyone supposed to win?Peace.Linda

  12. susanne said - "I think Dr.Cooper looks like Sarah Jessica Parker without makeup. I wonder if she is related to Alice Cooper."

    ......... LOL! On Murray's phone display maybe he stepped on it trying to get to Michael?

    PrincessGlam said - "The data is probably in some incomprehensible format in its raw state. Someone probably had to extract it into Word and tidy it up."

    ........ I dont' think lawyers would do this, this would have to be done by the company that manages the information, which means that the legal compliance officer that Brazil interviewed would have to extract the information. How can Brazil make a clerical error on an Sprint record? Since when do lawyers know how to walk into a telecommunications information bank and know where to pull and how to pull this information? That don't fly.

    Line said - "But if Michael died, either C. Murray is a HUGE liar who desperately attempts to save his ... or someone else killed Michael, behind Murray's back. "

    .......... Well I have yet to see where Murray lied because Murray hasn't even been questioned yet. Press reports of what Murray allegedly said two years ago don't count. So we await the defense to present it's case.

    One thing I do know, after today? They have yet to convince me that all those medications ordered were meant for Michael only.

    Susanne said - "Does the Jury know that the photo is a fake? Nothing in this whole saga make any sense to me. I am sick of it. I mean what's the point of all of this? Susanne "

    What is the point of all this? Think about it . . . how closely resembling the 2005 trial is this? Look at the behavior of the media, the witnesses, the prosecution etc.... Could be a way for someone to show us exactly what they tried to do to Michael in 2005, fake pictures, false witnesses, altered evidence and all.

  13. Line said - "Who had KEYS'access to Holmby Hills ? i.e. could it be that, either some working authorized employees or even past employees who might have unduly kept keys after quitting, further gave the residence's access to a criminal on 06.25.2009 ? "

    .......... Security tapes are missing . . . I have a feeling they will somehow, someway turn up and reveal exactly what happened.
    Linda said - "I have some encouragement for you. I had never seen this before - of Michael helping Jermaine when his microphone stopped working at the Motown 25 performance. Here is the link - you can start watching at 6:35 "

    ............ You made me cry again. Yes, I love these guys and you are in perfect time to where I am in Jermaine's book. I am so angry reading this from Jermaine's perspective. I was in tears to a friend writing her an email yesterday about one of the pages in that book. I will talk about that this weekend.

    Michael . . . wherever you are, I am sorry I have things of yours on my hard drive that were stolen from your house during the first raid and sold to magazines and never returned to you. I thought they were released with you or your family's blessing. :o(((( Very, very devastated about that.

  14. Linda said - "What is Michael's first solo album? A)Thriller B)Got To Be There
    C)Dangerous How is anyone supposed to win?"

    LOL!!!! They don't even know what his first solo album was? This has GOT to be a joke, right?

  15. Hi Bonnie. Didn't Dr.Murray tell the police two years ago that he couldn't call 911 because he didn't have a phone? Now we get the info from court testimonies that he made a lot of calls on his phone the day MJ died. Dr.Murray told the doctor at the hospital that he didn't have a watch. I don't believe that. There are pictures of him getting a pedicure during the weekend and his watch is right there beside him. A doctor without a watch? Besides he could have checked the time on his Iphone. We haven't heard a word from Dr.Murray to his defence. We only have the info that he gave to the police. If Dr.Murray doesn't go to jail there is a risk that someone in the world will go crazy about that and kill him. Trial or no trial. The world have already judged him to be a murderer. Susanne

  16. Susanne said - "Didn't Dr.Murray tell the police two years ago that he couldn't call 911 because he didn't have a phone? Now we get the info from court testimonies that he made a lot of calls on his phone the day MJ died. Dr.Murray told the doctor at the hospital that he didn't have a watch. I don't believe that."

    .......... Susanne there were rumors that went around and got leaked to the press by people that didn't even know Murray. Murray never testified that he didn't have a phone. It came out by the security guards that there were no HOUSE phones or land lines. Everyone had cell phones. (And if you knew the problems Michael had with his phones being tapped you'd know why this had to be done). Don't believe some of those early reports. You have to look at this trial like you never heard anything about him before, but remember what the PRESS has said about him and compare it to the testimony that is actually coming out. It's hard because some of THOSE people are not telling the truth either, obviously.

    Nobody said Murray didnt' have a watch. Dr. Nguyen is the one that said he didn't have one THAT DAY, or he wasn't wearing it. He did have his cell phones.

    When the defense begins presenting it's case, I'm sure we will hear some very surprising truth about Murray so make note of what these people are saying about him now. I can already see some of the motives and common purposes in some of these witnesses. Think of Murray as Michael in 2005 and you will see it too (I know this is a stretch, but they are doing to him what was done to Michael in 2005).

  17. Bonnie said "the legal compliance officer that Brazil interviewed would have to extract the information"

    Yes, that's what I meant. Typos do happen, even to legal compliance officers!

  18. PrincessGlam said - "Yes, that's what I meant. Typos do happen, even to legal compliance officers!"

    ........ Would you agree with me that it is IRRESPONSIBLE of a judge to allow the correction of already admitted evidence by a prosecuting attorney to a record that was extracted originally by one of the witnesses without prior discovery or collaboration to make sure it WAS INDEED a typo?

    This is what Sneddon tried to do with phone records in Michael's 2005 trial . . . so why do you think it is okay for THIS court case for the prosecutor to do this?

  19. Linda said - "What is Michael's first solo album? A)Thriller B)Got To Be There
    C)Dangerous How is anyone supposed to win?"

    Bonnie said - LOL!!!! They don't even know what his first solo album was? This has GOT to be a joke, right?

    Actually, Got To Be There IS Michael's first solo album. Many people believe it was Off The Wall, but that was his first adult solo album. Got To Be There was his very first solo album. It was released in 1972 when he was still a teenager.

  20. Richelle Cooper:

    "I was looking to determine what may have caused the death..."

    "I was looking at all the causes for why a 50 year old male would be suddenly dead so I could then decide what treatment we should consider."

    Huh? Very strange!


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